I hiccup alot. Just one time. Not “the hiccups.” Just “the hiccup.” One really loud one. Its really strange. I rarely burp, which I think is supposed to be really common during pregnancy. So, the hiccup must be my thing. I suppose its a pregnancy phenomenon. If not, I am blaming it on that anyway.

You can blame alot of stuff on “the pregnancy.” Here is my list so far:

I need BAGD to give me all his bed pillows, except the hard one I don’t like anyway. If I sleep wrong, I will lose circulation in my legs causing them to go numb and when I get up in the middle of the night to pee, I will fall on my stomach, injuring the baby.

I can’t go to the Gym because my shorts don’t fit anymore. So I have to stay home, alone, while BAGD takes the kids. Darn.

7 Freeze Pops is not too many to eat in one sitting. I need to stay hydrated.

I certainly can’t drive at night. Just because.

I shouldn’t drive at all, because I have to sit with my legs wide, like a 600 lb trucker, in order to be comfortable. And that makes it hard to use the gas/brake.

I can’t shave my legs, because I can’t bend over.

The grape juice in the fridge is mine, because I can’t drink soda. Don’t touch it.

I have to eat alot of snacks or my blood sugar will drop and I will faint, falling on my stomach and injuring the baby.

BAGD has to read “Lyle and the Birthday Party” (the world’s longest annoying children’s book) at bedtime because it hurts my back to sit on Geetle’s bed.

I can’t take out the garbage, because its dark in the garage and I might trip, falling on my stomach and injuring the baby.

You get the picture.