It was bound to happen someday; BAGD reminds me that all kids make poor decisions and get themselves into unsafe situations. What happened really could have happened to any kid, but it didn’t. It happened to Pookie. I am working on believing its not due to his Autism. I am thinking about it over and over. Read on and tell me what do you think?
Tonite, while BAGD was out buying new shoes, the kids and I were home alone. After dinner and a walk, I brought them all upstairs to get ready for bed. I put Giggles in the bathtub and Geetle asked to go in with her… so they could splash together. I said sure.
As I sat in there with the girls, Pookie went into his bedroom to play. His bedroom is his little sanctuary lately, just as we planned when we gave him his own room. He has a few toys in there and an art easle, so he could pass hours playing alone.
As the girls were in the tub, the door bell rang. I started to get up and then realized that would mean leaving Giggles in the tub while I went downstairs. Given the time of day, and the double ding-dong ring, I assumed the bell-ringer was our little friend from down the block, wanting to play. God only knows what time that girl goes to bed, she rings our bell late frequently.
So, we stayed in the bathroom.
More bell ringing.
We stayed in the bathroom.
More bell ringing.
I decided to go into Pookie’s room, (across the hall from the bathroom) and yell out the window, gone, just long enough to tell her that we could not play.
When I opened Pookie’s bedroom door, I could see out his window, to our front yard, where several neighbors we gathered. Pookie was standing in the corner of his room, not unhappy, not anything really. Just standing there.
I noticed the screen was gone from his window. My neighbor yelled from the yard. She said she had looked over and saw Pookie on the halfroof that overhangs our porch, directly below his window. Apparently he had opened his window, the screen fell out., I assume that he went out there to get it, which is something he would do. He always tries to fix the things he thinks are “wrong” or “undone.”
I thanked the neighbors and shut the window, eventhough I knew he could open it again. I called BAGD and told him to come home and bring something to disable the window. I propped Pookie’s bedroom door open with his dresser so that he had no more unsupervised time until BAGD got home.
BAGD, who is the voice in my head sometimes, says it could have happened to any kid. Boys do stupid things. Kids do stupid things. I know that its true. Pookie is not that much more likely to climb on the roof than any 6 year old boy. Autism does affect a person’s sense of danger, but so does being a kid, in general. But, still.
I did not yell at him. In situations like this, its better to wait and tell him later. Punishment is not effective in situations like this. I told him not to go out the window again. I told him it was unsafe. When we fix the window, we will point to the device that keeps it from opening more than 4 inches and tell him that its because he is not allowed to crawl out the windows ever again.
Quite simply, he did not do it to be naughty, or because he goes looking for trouble. He thought he fixing what he had done. He had pushed the screen out and he was going to fix it. That, I know. I know Pookie and I know that is what was going thru his head.
BAGD is fixing the window right now, before we send Pookie to bed. The girls are watching “The Penguins of Madagascar.” Pookie is watching me type this, occasionally sneezing from his allergies and asking me if he can kiss the booboo I got when the Polly Pocket Mall fell on my cheek. Pookie is OK.
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{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }
Hi, random reader here…
When my brother was eight (he does not have autism), he did basically the same thing. Mom sent him to his (second story) room to do his homework. He “got so hot” and opened the window, accidentally pushed the screen out, and climbed out to retrieve the screen. While he was there, he decided to just hang out on the roof (He was always intrigued by the roof on Flight of the Navigator). Mom walked in, saw him sitting there, and had to sneak up on him so she didn’t scare him. She wrangled him in and then the window was all but barred from then on!
All this to say that in my (complete stranger) opinion, it sure sounds like a boy thing and not an autism thing.
How scary! Thank God he’s okay.
I agree with Jennifer — it’s a guy thing. Both the fixing-things impulse and the getting-on-the-roof one. (I had those too, but I’m a weird girl.) My brother did stuff like that as a kid all the time; had he lived in my room (which has a window over an overhang), I’m sure he’d have been out there at age six as well, to see what was out there, and probably to see why one of the shingles was wonky!
You know why he did it. You know Pookie so well. He did it to fix the screen. No genetic reason in my opinion. Love MOM
I think it’s just a male thing. When I lived in the dorms at college, we had these ledge things that were beneath the top floor windows…which was a boy floor at the time. There were ALWAYS guys going out there with lawn chairs or just sitting there dangling their legs off the sides. I wouldn’t do that for love or money, but they thought nothing of it. No one ever got hurt doing it, but they DID eventually change those floors to girl floors…coincidence, I think not.
I agree, I think it’s something that any kid might do. I think, by the force of personality or whatever, some kids might be more likely to do it than others. But I think a non-autistic kid might be just as likely to do that for the exact same reasons as Pookie did. Curiosity, the desire to fix something that broke, or even a desire to “cover up” something they didn’t mean to do, all sounds like pretty normal behavior to me.
Very scary, of course, for mom! Glad he’s OK.
You have some good readers! I think they are all right! There is no one reason why Pookie or any kid would do this type of thing… Kids (and adults) live in the moment and just do things….
I am surprised that nobody connected this event with your recent nightmare. Perhaps his sleeping arrangement changes have reduced the moderating effects of his twin sister and increased his time to himself to the point where he’s “experimenting” more and that’s the unresolved conflict your dream attempted to deal with.
Or it could be complete happenstance (and I am reading too much into it).
That is an interesting point. We did (and still do) rely on Geetle to police him sometimes. We try to teach her not to tattle, but we also slip and ask her to check on him. We are working on that, because its really not fair to her. When they shared a room, Geetle would give us a little report every time she saw something suspicious…and we listened intently. I think Pookie knew that. And, like all kids, he knows that if you want to get into serious mischief, you need privacy. I had a hard time making him keep that bedroom door open that night, until BAGD got back with the window locks. so, maybe you are right.
Its ironic that his bussing seems to be a nonissue so far this year. He is the first one off in the afternoon, getting home by 3pm. Considering his school gets out at 2:30, that is pretty good for a bussed kid. By the time Geetle walks up from her bus stop, we talk in the driveway for a few minutes and then his bus pulls up. Its pretty smooth. I am actually not stressed about the bussing at all right now. 2 weeks ago, you could not have convinced me that would be true.
That is funny! And I agree with you. Girls would not do that. Its amazing any boys make it to adulthood.
thanks. I am starting to think that too. The more people I talk to, the more tellme about the time their son did something similar.