I was thinking recently about how often I used to write about potty training, and that I have not had much to say on the topic lately. So, I thought I would write an update and close the book on the topic. I get a bit of search engine traffic on the subject, for both NT children and autistic.
First, let me say that I was feeling proud of myself (and BAGD) for potty-training Pookie. Its not easy to potty train a boy with autism. But, then I realized that we were facilitators, at best. Pookie did all the hard work. And we are proud of him, not ourselves. It took alot longer but now that we are through most of it we can step back and look at the process with the correct perspective. I cannot say that this will be true for all kids (NT or Special Needs) but Pookie went through the same stages as most kids do.
- Oblivion- not even noticing when he peed or pooped
- Mild Interest- watching the pee run down his leg, but not doing anything about it.
- Anger- resenting the fact that this was going to be something he had to deal with eventually.
- Vulnerable Success- if all factors were aligned (if he was naked, if we were within 15 feet of a potty, if parents are paying attention, etc) he would pee in the potty.
- Stretching his Wings- our first “outside the house” pee!. But also many accidents (see Oblivion and Mild Interest)
- Independent Peeing- we saw him run to the bathroom (at home or Grandma’s) on his own, with no advice or coaching from us.
- Leaving the Pull-ups Behind- he refused to wear a Pull-up at night.
- Lazy Relapse- he had several accidents when he was “too busy” to go to the bathroom.
- Poop is different- it became evident that we would have to start all over with poop, but now that he was pee-trained, it should be easier. So far, Poop has followed this same pattern, just start at the top and read thru again.
So, where is Pookie now? He is in the lazy relapse stage, for poop. We consider Pookie to be 100% pee-trained. He is only about 60% poop-trained. But making real progress. We still have a few hurdles to clear. He still rarely announces that he has to go, other than at home. He has been wearing underwear everywhere for 5 months. He has had 2 accidents at school and one on the bus riding home. One accident at school happened on the playground, a time when he was not near enough to a bathroom. While alot of kids would just ask to go inside, Pookie is still working on that part of language and social interaction. It just does not occur to him.
I know how frustrating potty training is. BAGD and I saw both ends of the spectrum. Geetle potty trained in less than a week, day and night. 0% to 100%, no kidding. Pookie took alot longer. Sure, some of that was due to his autism, some was due to the difference between boys and girls, and some was just due to his personality. As a parent, just remember to keep your spirits up, look for small victories, be consistent and don’t fear failure. Its just pee and poop. The staff at IHOP would rather help clean up after your preschooler than some drunk college kid who left the same problem behind. Its all washable.
If you come to this post after searching for “potty training advice” or “potty training autism”, like I expect, then I welcome you. I searched the same thing a year ago. I did not find a magic bullet, but I did find encouraging stories and tips to try. I hope you find Geetle and Pookie’s story to be the same for you. Please see my Potty Training- Archive for a blow by blow history of how Pookie got to this point.
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