Pookie has been acting up on the morning bus recently. He has been yelling a particular phrase very loudly. Its hard for me to explain these things to you all in a blog, Pookie has many more dimensions than this blog lets me describe. But I will try.
Background Fact #1- we used to have a book called “Bye Bye Pacifer” in which Baby Piggy learns to give up her pacifier. It does not go well at first and at one point she recaps the situation by saying “I was not happy!”
Background Fact #2- when we read books to the kids, we often dramatize certain phrases. Storytime around here is like cheap theatre. Badly acted, but with enthusiasm. When we used to read “Bye Bye Pacifier” I would really hit the phrase “I was not happy!” Since I am a very poor actress, my delivery was very exaggerated and memorable. Meant to be funny, sure. But memorable, nonetheless.
Background Fact #3- although many people think Autism means you do not understand emotion, Pookie does understand it. He cries when Marley dies. He notices other people’s injuries. He just does not always know how to deal with it. Frustration is an emotion. A common way for him to deal with his emotions is to use an echolalic phrase that he thinks conveys his feelings.
Background Fact #4- Webster’s dictionary defines “yell” as “to utter or declare in a very loud voice.”
Background Fact #5- Webster’s dictionary defines “scream” as “to speak with intense or hysterical emotion.”
Ok, so he is unhappy on the bus for some reason. We don’t know why. We ask him why he yelled on the bus. He says he yelled because he was upset. We ask why he was upset. He says its because he yelled on the bus. Whatever the real cause is his reaction is to yell “I was not happy!” at the top of his lungs, really hitting the “NOT” in a high pitched note. Its a yell. Not a scream. He is in full control of his emotions while he does it.
That makes it even more puzzling. We don’t know why he is unhappy on the bus. Whatever is making him unhappy is not something that causes him true fear or anger. If it did, he would be screaming, not yelling. Get the difference? Based on what the bus driver says, there is no real reason for him to be upset on the bus. After a review of the situation, we agree.
Apparently, whatever is bothering him is something that is an annoyance, but he does not know how to deal with it, so he is using an echolalic phrase to address it. Unfortunately for the bus drivers and the other kids, the phrase is done in a very theatrical style and with alot of volume.
The school is trying to work on it with a “Green-Yellow-Red” behavior chart. They also gave the bus driver a “QUIET” pecs card to show him when it happens. I hope those things work, but I am not too optimistic. Don’t get me wrong, I do think he will stop doing it. But I doubt it will be because of those tactics. He is completely in control of this situation and I think he is going to hold us all hostage until he tires of it. I think there is nothing really wrong on the bus, nothing that is causing him to be unhappy. I think he simply does not like the bus ride anymore and is blowing off a little steam by yelling. Its not right, but that’s the way it is. We really can’t do much about it at home. We have bigger fish to fry. Although, I do think these issues have a common denominator. Namely, we need to help Pookie find a way to express and work through frustration.
I am not sure if you can get kicked off the bus for yelling, but we might find out soon.
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{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
Hi, Does he still read on the bus? What about an audio book? Do you remember the car bingo games I used to make for you kids when we were traveling. I used sights that I was sure you could see out the window. Just some thoughts…if I have any more I will let you know. Love MOM
he says he does not want to read on teh bus. we also offered him his headphones, but he refused. I think he would also refuse to play bingo. He is just angry taht he has to go to school and wants us to know that.