One thing I learned as a parent is to never say never. But this is one I feel comfortable saying.

My kids will NEVER wear wheelie shoes.

I hate them. Why?

1. They turn otherwise well-behaved kids into run-away freight trains careening out of control down the aisles in Walmart. Rude and inconsiderate.
2. When the kids are not wheeling, they walk on their tip toes with no bend in the arch. Bad for their feet.
3. Any parent who lets their kid roll thru the aisles of public stores and sidewalks on these shoes, darting between normal pedestrians, is not the kind of parent I intend to be.
4. They are not shoes. They are toys.

These shoes are banned at Pookie’s school (pre-K thru 6th grade), during school, after school, walking to school, etc…all the time. Geetle’s preschool (2-5 year olds) does not have such a policy, probably because they assume no parent of a 2-5 year old would send their child to school in them. Turns out they are wrong, Geetle knows exactly what these shoes are because “Eric” has a pair and wears them to school. But its OK, she tells me, because Ms Sofia just tells him to “turn off the wheels.”

BAGD and I went to the mall the other day. We were browsing at Steve and Barry’s University Sportswear when we were overtaken by a mop headed boy on wheelie shoes, darting in and out of the racks. His mother was trailing behind him. She passed me just as I said how much I hated those shoes and that the boy was rude. She gave me a look. I gave it back. I assume she saw my pregnant belly and that I had no kids in tow and assumed I was a first time parent. She probably thought, “Oh, just wait. You don’t understand at all.” Well, I do understand, whether I have kids or not. Those shoes are dangerous to me, as the person your kid races past and scoots around. Would you let your kid ride his bike thru Steve and Barry’s? Would you let him squirt me with his new water pistol? No? Well then, tell him to walk like a normal boy and save the recreation equipment for the playground.