You can learn how trains work.
You can learn how to be safe around trains.
You can learn how to behave on a field trip.
You can learn the excitement of trying something new.
You can understand the bigness of a train, the speed, the way it feels to ride it.
You can make a connection between something you have seen or heard about, but never experienced before.

All these things are important for kids, Pookie’s group especially.
I like to go on these field trips because often they are just not possible unless the ratio of grownups to kids is about 3:1. I never want Pookie’s class to skip an experience because “they just can’t manage it.” I am a little bummed that I cannot go help Pookie’s class visit the Scholastic Book Fair at the school tomorrow. When they visit the Book Fair (held at the school) they are supposed to make a Wish List of books and then take it home to their parents, who might send in the money for the kids to buy them later in the week or on Parent’s Night. Geetle’s kindergarten class had 4 grownups to help them do this. Pookie’s group will need help too. But I cannot go tomorrow, and that makes me sad. But we will take Pookie on Parent’s Night and help him make a wish list. I hope they get enough other help so that his class’ visit to the Book Fair is productive.

On side note: because I have chaperoned 4 Special Ed field trips over Pookie;s career, I can tell you a few tips for making them successful:

For a safe and sucessful Special Education Field Trip:
1. use a 3:1 ratio of adults to kids.
2. make it short and powerful. No wandering around an entire museum. Just go to one special area and really soak it in.
3. build in some playtime
4. stick as close to school routines as possible
5. bring along some portable PECS cards with common commands
6. mandatory bathroom breaks are a must.
7. remember that the bus ride and lunch are just as “fun” as the other stuff.
8. expect a few sleepers on the bus
9. have an emergency plan for non-compliant kids (waiting on bus, quiet area at destination, way for one grown up to stay with the kid, but still be in contact with rest of group by cell phone)
10. small stuff is fun too. Just riding the train is fun!

We have lost someone very important to our family.

Someone who brought such warmth to our home.

Someone who could always be relied on. Someone who was always there when we needed him. Someone whose fire burned brightly.

Rest in Peace, Beagoodfurnace. Rest in Peace.

You will be missed.

I had it shipped “Site to Store” for free…which is a good thing, since it weighs 40+ pounds and would have cost about $25 to ship. We are hoping that he will use this Martial Arts Heavy Bag Fitness Set to practice his Kyuki-Do. When they get to class early, he always sneaks over to the corner and puts on the Master’s boxing gloves and punches the torso dummy a few times. Its a highlight of his class period. Plus, he does not use much force when he kicks/punches in the air and his aim is horrible. But if the teacher holds a pad in front of him, he will KIA! and smack it hard right on the target. Now he can practice at home.

So, one physical, combative toy and one…..

Thumb Piano from Magic Cabin.

That’s my boy.

Giggles is getting this little wooden toy car. The rabbit is a very bad driver and when it hits something, he pops out. The best part? He says “Watch Out! Oh Dear” with a British accent. Also available at Toys to Grow On.

Geetle is getting a pot holder loom. Its time she learned a trade. Hers is just a low end model, but if she likes it, I want to get her this one some day:
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Available at Amazon.com

Pookie is getting a very cool wooden marble game from Magic Cabin. He loves things like this and will do it over and over. Sure, its a stim. But it makes him happy.

BAGD is getting a Harlem Globetrotter’s Playing Experience…page 77 of the Neiman Marcus Christmas Book. Either that or M-Velope Transformable Structure on page 73. I would get him the $1500 Karl Lagerfield Teddy Bear, but he hates “branded” items. He says if he is going to advertise for them, they should pay him to take the T-shirt home. I guess that would apply to Teddy Bears too??

On the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month in 1918 the armistice ending WWI was signed between the Allies and Germany. Formerly known as Armistace Day, we now celebrate this as Veteran’s Day. Most European countries also celebrate some sort of day of rememberance on this date. At the time WWI was the war to end all wars, people thought we would never see another war like it. 20 million died. Since it became a holiday it has evolved into a remembrance for all military service.

Do you remember the VFW members who would come to your elementary school this time of year and sell little red tissue Poppies? Remember the school would send a note home and you’d come to school the next day with your $1 for a poppy? The VFW members would go from classroom to classroom selling poppies and might even stay for lunch, sitting 1 or 2 to a table, talking with you and your friends? Afterwards, you would put your poppy thru the zipper pull of your winter coat or leave them wrapped around your pencil for months.

Do they do that anymore?

I doubt it. School security is tight, for good reasons. The world has changed. Even then, us kids did not know why we bought the poppies, except that it had something to do with the old soldiers. We did not know that they were a symbol. A symbol of the end of a war and the world trying to get back to normal, finding peace in the fact that beautiful red poppies seemed to sprout on the battlefields of France and Belgium after the armistace, showing that the time for war was over.

Do they still sell the poppies? I did not see any this year. That’s a shame. I think with proper supervision and screening (which they need for all visitors), schools could still invite members of the VFW in to sell the poppies and have lunch. But, first they need to explain what Veteran’s Day means, what the poppies signify.

I very rarely waste a whole dollar, but I would have sent money in for Geetle and Pookie to by poppies. Its not a waste.

For instance, this is a dangerous reading on the clock:

Because, as she will yelp “Its almost to the 8 (pronounced “eeeeiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight!”)

I am considering getting her a teaching clock for Christmas. I found a few on Amazon. Ideally, I would like one that requires her to make the hands look like the reading on our grownup clock and then have a button she pushes which will read the time aloud. Also, something on the face of the clock which helps show how time passes. I haven’t found just the right one yet, but I will.

She is only 5 but she seems to NEED to know this right now. She stares at the clock and tries to make sense of it. I don’t know how to teach her.

She likes to put things in boxes and bags. This set looks sturdy and will someday help her learn colors. She is also going to go nuts over the lids. She is always trying to put the lid on her own cup or back on the milk. A good toy for a 1 year old at Christmas.

I have ordered somethings off of Etsy.com that I am really excited about.

All 3 kids are getting handmade Monster Plush Dolls from HappyCloud Thunderhead. I ordered Mr.Krumpy, Bajingo, and Fluffy. I am not sure who is getting which one, but they are all awesome.

Geetle and Pookie are getting custom Super Hero capes and masks from Baby Pop. Super Geetle to the Rescue! Call on Super Pookie!

Its not really part of a theme, but I also bought a Color your Own Super Hero doll from Serendipity Tree. I like this doll because I know Geetle will enjoy coloring an outfit on it. Then we can toss it in the washer with bleach and start all over again. Cool. Sort of a indie version of a Doodle Bear.

Finally, I ordered an I Spy Bag for the kids. This is a cool concept. Its a fleece pillow filled with plastic pellets and trinkets. You squish and squeeze it until you can see the trinkets in the vinyl window. On the back, there is a list of the trinkets to find. Lots of (quiet) fun. There are lots for sale on Etsy. I bought mine from The Crafting Corner because I like that her bags had an attached list of items on the back. I hate losing pieces of a toy and then having it be unusable. I like that this bag will not become separated from the list of trinkets.

I also got a few things from online cataloges. I am particularly excited about this item for Pookie:
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The boy loves Chicka Chicka Boom Boom. He will LOVE having a tree and letters to use when he sings the song. Its available at Constructive Playthings. I am considering whether he needs the Chicka Chicka 123 version as well…overkill? Probably.

He went to the dentist.

He has been to the dentist every 6 months for the last 2 years. We go. He stiffens up, looks suspiciously at the dentist and tries to ooze out of the chair. He clamps his mouth. He does not scream or cry, but he puts up a pretty good show of peaceful resistance. Yesterday it was time to go again.

Our dentist is a Sears Dental Studio, located in a local Mall. Pookie has been there a dozen times, going with Geetle, shopping at the Mall, sometimes we walk over to the Dental area and just say hello to the receptionists. No big deal. But when its time to go “behind the curtain” he stiffens up and does what he thinks he needs to do to protect himself.

Yesterday we asked if we could stay in the waiting room until they were exactly ready for us in the chair. They agreed and when it was his turn we walked right back and the dentist was standing next to the chair waiting for him. (how often does that happen in America!?!). She let him wiggle around in the chair, talking nicely to him. He was very calm. The dentist and Pookie checked out the tools. He asked for a toothbrush and she gave him one. They looked at themselves in the little mirror. Pookie let her use it to look at his teeth. Everything was going great. Then the dentist turned to pick up the Pointy-Picker-Scraper tool. As soon as Pookie saw that, he was out of there!

But, he only got a foot away and we caught him. The dentist put the Pointy-Picker-Scraper down and he got back in the chair. She explained that it was just for pointing at his teeth and that it would not hurt. (He has a black spot on a bottom tooth and we thought it might be a cavity, so she needed to poke it to see if it was sticky. Turns out its just a stain on his tooth). He looked suspicious but agreed. They looked at the Pointy-Picker-Scraper together. Pookie said “is for Mom’s teeth” so I let them touch my teeth with it. Then he said “is for Dad’s teeth” and tried to get BAGD to do it. Smartly, BAGD said “first Pookie, then Dad.” So, Pookie let the dentist poke his tooth. No problem.

Then he and the hygenist had to play with the spit sucker for a few minutes. Once they had that done, Pookie let her brush on flouride while he stood over the little sink. Easy Peasy.

Now for X-rays. Pookie sat back in the big chair and happily put on the lead cape. (he wears a pressure vest at school sometimes and he likes the sensation.) So, how do you think he did at the X-rays? Well? I’ll tell you. They failed to get any X-rays taken. BUT! Pookie did his part great. He had to put that little piece of cardboard between his teeth and hold still. Everytime he did so, he could not help but move the little piece cardboard with his tongue. He tried 3-4 times but the cardboard kept moving on him. But we were happy with that.

So, he did great. He is awesome. We are so proud.

If you are wondering about some tips for helping your child with autism visit the dentist, let me give you these:

1. Tell the staff that your child has special needs. Duh. But do it. Don’t tell them how to do their jobs. Just tell them the fact. Establish that your goal is to facilitate the visit. You will consider yourself a member of the team that day. They will do the dentisting and you will do the parenting. But remember to give them the benefit of the doubt, they may have experience in the area already. For us, we established this 2 years ago when we started bringing little 3 year old Pookie to the dentist and he would not stop singing long enough to let them look at his tiny teeth. But we went. They got to know us and he got to know them.

2. Try to go at a quiet time of the day. Our apointment was 2:45 and we were the only ones there.

3. Ask if you can stay in the waiting room until they are ready for you in the back. Minimize your child’s time in the chair.

4. Know what they are going to be doing and tell the dentist if you want anything skipped or the order changed. We asked for X-rays at the end, since that was something we thought might be the most confusing to Pookie.

5. Mimimize the distraction caused by your other children. We hired Geetle to be Giggles’ babysitter. She packed her babysitter bag with a snack, a bottle, books and toys. Giggles sat in her stroller and Geetle entertained her just around the corner from Pookie’s dental chair. We did not hear a peep from either one of them. Geetle was paid one Skippy Jon Jones book, just as we negotiated.

6. Let your child explore the dental tools, as much as is possible, with the dentist’s help. Must be with the dentist’s help, so that they bond a bit.

7. Work with what your child gives you. Pookie, for instance, will not lie down in the dental chair, flat on his back. He lays down on his side, sort of curled up in a ball. But once in this position, he will turn his head so its essentially flat on the chair. That works.

8. Do not hold your child down. Do not use force. I held Pookie’s hands gently so that he would not instinctively put them near his mouth. I held on very lightly and he did not rebel. It was just enough force to remind him to keep his hands down. If you use force, they will use force. I realize that this is a hard one. It works for us, because we rarely use force on Pookie. The only time we really do so is when it involves things like shots or stitches at the doctors office. If his fear of a situation is more mental than physical, we use almost no pressure when we hold his hands. We want him to learn how to face these things willingly. We has made alot of progress in this area.

9. Listen to what your child is saying. For Pookie, trusting the dentist to use the Pointy-Picker-Scraper meant that he needed to see it used on Mom first. That is easily doable, so we did it. He wanted a new toothbrush, so she gave him one early in the appointment.

10. Bring anything that you think might help your child make sense of the situation. We brought Pookie’s flosser picks from home. We thought that if all else failed, we could have the dentist “floss his teeth” just like Dad does at home. Then the dentist could look around in there at the same time. He did not need it, but it was a good idea. We also had his earphones in the car. Next time, if he needs more invasive work, we are going to try letting him wear the lead cape during the exam. He likes the weighty sensation and it might calm him.

11. Sincerely thank the staff for their help. They will say “no problem” but do it anyway. Anything you can do to help grow the relationship between your child and the dentist is important. That means making the dentist and the staff feel comfortable too. That’s why we pop into the dentist when we visit the mall, just to say hello to our friends.

So, this is how we get through routine dental checkups and flouride applications. Pookie has not had to have anything more invasive. We will cross that bridge when we come to it. But if we have enough of these good visits, it will be easier when it happens.

Geetle’s teacher wants healthy snacks only. But nothing that has to be eaten with a spoon, like yogurt or applesauce. And nothing that requires preparation. And nothing that may be a healthy version of a traditionally unhealthy food. And nothing that takes longer than 7 minutes to eat. But, other than that…go wild!

So, where does that leave us? Crackers, cereal, raisins, granola bars and nuts. Actually I expect to be busted on the granola bars soon, since a granola bar is just a socially acceptable candy bar. Just as a muffin is just a cupcake with a good P.R. agent. I have some 100% juice fruit leather. Can’t send it. No “fruit snacks” allowed.

Its funny because what we are really fighting here is the IDEA that the snack might be unhealthy. You can send a 500 calorie piece of homemade banana bread loaded with oil and sugar, but not a 100 calorie pack of Oreo Thin Crisps. Prepackaged Peanut Butter Crackers are OK, even with their Trans Fat, but some 100% juice fruit leather is not. I know what is healthy. I am responsible for their entire diet. I would not let her eat candy for snack but I do allow granola bars, low calorie cookie packs, etc. I am on top of it. I swear. If her Tuesday snack is a bit questionable (which for us means Veggie Booty or Trail Mix with M&Ms) then she is probably having Mahi Mahi and Sweet Potatoes for dinner.

I understand, I guess. She is trying to simplify it for the kids. If it looks healthy it is. If it does not, it is not. But, wouldn’t it be better to educate them right from the bat? Even at age 5 they can understand about portion size, sugar, fats, etc. If we do not teach them this soon, they will be doomed to repeat that whole 1990’s Snackwell Cookie fiasco in which people consumed mass quantities of the cookies because they were “healthy.”

By the way, Geetle won a “prize” at school today. She is not sure how she won it. The teacher said the whole class got one and it was from the Principal. It had a masking tape label on it with her name, in perfect De’Nealian script. She thinks it was because they earned so many “High Fives” last week. Her prize? A can of Sprite. She wants to give it to Uncle Mark, since he is the only person she knows who drinks “lemon soda.” Geetle herself never touches the stuff. Hurts the tongue, you know. She also came home with 2 packages of fruit snacks, because today was TJ and Allison’s birthdays. On her birthday, screw the fruit snacks, I am sending Ding Dongs.