BAGD wrote some nice things about me today, which I really appreciate. It takes alot of work to do what I do. Its hard. But most of the time all I need to keep it going is a little bit of recognition.  I just need someone to say that they notice what I do, and that they appreciate it. My kids are too young to do that themselves, so I rely on BAGD to do it for them.

I will admit, I am very sensitive about this issue lately. It makes me mad when I hear someone gush about the incredible service at a restaurant or how nice it was for their co-worker to take care of that file for them today. I think “that’s great, but did you take the time to say thank you to someone from your inner circle that did even more for you today?”

Often, over time, we come to ignore the sacrifices and labor of those members of our inner circle (mother, father, spouse, etc) and take them for granted. We are quick to notice when an outsider (waitress, neighbor, other driver, etc) does us some great favor or kindness. We gush about how that outsider really made our day by doing whatever they did. But, by doing that, sometimes we are insulting the members of our inner circle and trivializing their role in our everyday lives. And sometimes when we point out and over-hype what those outsiders did, it hurts someone in the inner circle.

For example, I was glad that BAGD was thankful to the nurses who helped me during the scary part of my emergency C-section, but I wanted to be his hero, not for them to be. That really stung. I know that when he said it, he was expressing his thanks for what they did to keep me and the baby safe, but I felt like it was not fair for them to get all the credit for that day. Its important to recognize the efforts of kind outsiders, but not at the expense of your inner circle’s feelings. Next time you go on and on about how your hairstylist is so great for squeezing you in on a Saturday, think about how your Mom/MIL always squeezes you in for free baby sitting when you need it. Or when you are so excited about the lady at church who offered to lend you her steam cleaner, remember that your sister/brother has always been so generous with his/her time and talents.

Let me close by saying,

BAGD does more for me every day than all the outsiders combined. I work hard at remembering to tell him that. I want to thank him for all the things we talk about and all the things we laugh about. I also want to thank him for being the best husband and father I can imagine.

I want to thank some other members of my inner circle for specific things, but I will wait. I want this to be just for BAGD.