A very good article from Time, regarding the siblings of autistic children.
It raises some very valid points and offers good solutions.
Personally, I can tell you that we think of these kind of things all the time. I know that I treat Pookie different than I treat Geetle. I also know that her presence is sometimes the only thing that keeps me from explaining to clerks, strangers, etc “oh, its OK, he has autism.” I don’t want to say that. I don’t want to make excuses for him. I want him to just be. So, I am often very grateful that Geetle is standing right there. Its too soon for her to understand how he is different, so we don’t talk about it in front of her. We talk about “the Big A” but she does not know what that means. Someday, she will ask us. Just like she asked us “how come Pookie won’t play with me” when she was 3 or “why does Pookie wear pull-ups” when she (they) were 4. When the time comes, we will help her understand. But, for now, its too soon and not even necessary. She thinks Pookie is fun, and funny. She cheers for him when he poops in the potty because she gets 2 Tootsie Rolls when he does, just like he gets. She sings Blues Clues to make him laugh at the dinner table. She goads him into tackling her on the rug. They don’t like or dislike each other any more than any other set of twins. And that is fine with me.
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