So, I have found my get-rich-quick scheme. Maternity clothes are everywhere; not hard to find. Great, you do need special pants, shirts and even underwear when you are pregnant. But no one (NO ONE!) sells what I really need….maternity shoes. I am going to open a store selling maternity shoes. Do you think it will be a success? Here is what I will sell:

• Aisle 1: Shoes with adjustable sides. They will go on your foot sort of like a diaper. You position your foot and then ask someone else to bring up the sides and secure.
• Aisle 2: Slippers that look like shoes. Sort of like the Robeez for babies, only in large sizes.
• Aisle 3: Foot body paint and stencil kits. When all else fails, paint on your own shoes. (I mean, get someone to paint them on for you. You know you are not bending over to do it.)

In Aisle 4 I will sell the typical accessories you find in a shoe store, but with a maternity spin These will include:

• Cooler purses for packing a snack while you are out and about
• Some sort of high-tech liquid cloth that you dip your naked foot into and when you pull it out, you are wearing a sock. I haven’t fully invented this yet, but I have a good mental picture of how it will work. Because, really, what good are slip on shoes if you have to bend over to put the socks on anyway.
• Maternity Pantyhose. This has been invented, but I am thinking the product needs a remodeling for the 21st century. I am thinking there should be a giant hole where your belly sticks out, to reduce itching and tightness caused by the pantyhose.
• “Shoe Polish” that is really a container of fudge. No pregnant woman takes the time to polish her shoes, but if we hid our fudge in the can, no one else would eat it.

Well, what do you think? Anyone want to invest in my business? I need a good name too. Any suggestions?