Compliments of The Lazy Bloggers Post Generator, a tool which helps you put up a quick and witty blog post apologizing for your lack of recent blog posts. Here is mine (although I have been doing pretty well lately):

Holy Snapping Duck Do! I just opened mine eyes, and lo! I have not updated this since Hammertime was in the charts… You would not believe how insane my life has become. Apologies to my regular readers! Even the little blue ones!.

I am absolutely consumed with responding to fanmail, driving from one end of the city to the other, just generally being an embarrassment to anyone unfortunate to cross my path, my day is passing in a blur from the first cockadoodledoo from the rooster to I run out of alcohol. I am not complaining though. life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re going to get.

I swear on the bones of my ancestors I will update you with my nefarious activities as soon as I get a chance. Sincerest apologies. Don’t hold your breath though, you’re likely to turn blue.