25 mg

by beagoodmom on January 30, 2013

Pookie’s psychiatrist increased his medicine (Citalopram) just before Christmas. Its partly due to the fact that as he grows up, he is moving from pediatric to adult doses. Its also partly due to the fact that we are still searching for 1) the right dose 2) the answer to the question whether or not the medicine does any good.

I am still on the fence on whether or not it does any good. I mean, he makes improvements every day. But we still have really bad episodes (had one on Sunday regarding worn out pants, homework and trampolines). And its really hard to know whether the current situation is better than what we COULD have had without the medicine. I am too factual for that analysis…I mean, how do you decide whether “the known” is worse than the “unknown?” That’s a big life question, right there.

In the meantime, I look for clues that the medicine, and the increased dose, does any good. So, here is my recent notes. I hope these help us the next time the doctor asks me “how things are going?”

Its been cold here recently. Pookie is enamored with his “Keep Austin Weird” baseball hat that BAGD brought him a few weeks ago. He wears it to school every day. On recent mornings, I have asked him to wear a warm hat instead, but then (because I think it will make him happy) I put the Austin hat on top of his stocking hat. I never discussed it with him, I just did it. This morning it was pretty warm out, relatively speaking. I hadn’t given any thought to who should wear what kind of hat today. As he was getting ready for school, Pookie said to me “I will wear one hat today. I will wear my ‘Keep Austin Weird’ hat.”

Geetle and Pookie have been doing Xtra Math online. I make them come downstairs to my office when they get home from school each day and do one round of Xtra Math on the laptops before they go upstairs for snack and play. Pookie hates it, just like he hates all homework. But he tolerates it. Yesterday, he came home, walked into my office and forcefully proclaimed “I will do Xtra Math, Mom. But then I will have popcorn and then I will play my DS, Mom!”

For years, Pookie has had a limited understanding of his birthday and his age. He used to tell everyone that he was “5”, even when he was not. He also seemed to care little about his actual birthday and the cake and swag that he was going to get. That understanding has changed, as has his understanding of Christmas and other typical kid-focused holidays. His birthday is Thursday and he knows it. He asks me “Mom, will we go for hot dogs on January 31st?” or proclaims “For my birthday I am getting a dart board, puppet and props for If You Give a Mouse a Cookie, puppet and props for If You Give a Moose a Muffin, puppet and props for If You Give a Pig a Pancake, puppet and props for If You Give a Dog a Donut, a plasma ball, and a lava lamp.”

I also think he is doing better with his pronouns, which is a loooooong time coming. We are getting more “I need help” rather than “do you need help?”

He makes a lot of random observations like “Nixie is a good cat, she is sitting and purring” or “Is the sun going down? Will Dad be home for dinner?”

He also seems truly engaged in some of the social situation that we throw him into. He truly looks at Geetle as a playmate. He gets excited when people come over. He wants to go places and do things. He watches the calendar and knows what day it is. He has always done some of these things…to a degree. But now it feels like he is really planning a life for himself.

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