Be A Good Mom

I did not forget it was your birthday!   Its just that every time I thought to call you today, I had either a kid, a paint-roller or steering wheel in my hand.    Poor excuse, I know.

I will talk to you very soon.  I hope you had a nice birthday today.

Our friend party did not really have a theme, except for a general “Tea Party” atmosphere.

I got a couple of cheap Teapots at Goodwill and let the kids use my Fiestaware teacups and saucers. We had finger sandwiches (Peanut butter cut with a small cookie cutter) and they got to pour their own drinks. They all liked that.

Instead of a cake, we had a pile of birthday donuts. We lit the candle and sang twice, once for each twin.

Our friends brought some pretty awesome presents.

We had party hats and candy necklaces for party favors. Our party hats were just solid color hats that BAGD and I decorated. He cut “5″s out of craft foam and I attached spiral pipe cleaners to the top of each hat for a cute look.

Our candy necklaces were very simple, but popular. To make them, all you need is a length of Plastic Wrap (Saran Wrap), some candy and ribbon. Lay the plastic wrap out flat, place the candy every few inches or so, roll the plastic wrap around the candy and tie ribbon between each piece of candy. Tie the ends together and you have a necklace!

We played Pin the Tail on the Donkey, but other than that, the kids just played in the basement. We hung a large piece of paper on the wall and let them draw on it, that was pretty popular.

It was a fun party.

Pookie and Geetle also had a Family Birthday party this weekend. Before we could have anyone over, BAGD had to shovel the driveway. Too bad for him, the next day it was 50 degrees and all the rest of the snow melted.

Once the party got started, it was lots of fun. Lots of food.

Lots of people.

Lots of great presents.

Every year when birthdays come and go, I can’t help but stop and think about how much my kids have grown. One very poignant thought jumped into my head at the party. Last year, Great Grandma BlueGrass gave Pookie a package of CARS underwear. He opened them and threw them aside, because at that point, he had absolutely no interest and no understanding of the potty. At the time, it made me very sad. I was happy that my boy was turning 4, but angry and frustrated that he was not potty trained. I wondered when it would ever happen. Then at this party, almost a exactly a year later, I found my boy in the bathroom pooping on his own during the party. Thats how far he had come in a year. I was so proud of him. And then there’s Geetle, who told me several times this week, “I don’t care what people get me.” Her way of saying, in abbreviated 5 year old language, that she just wanted a party, not presents. Good kids. I am lucky.

Pookie and Geetle had a great time.

I did not.

Why don’t people RSVP?  If you aren’t coming, at least have the decency to tell the host that, so she can move on and maybe invite a few Tier II guests instead.   Is your kid so popular that he/she gets literally dozens of birthday party invitations a week and you could not possibly reply to them all?  No?  Then have enough common courtesy to drop me an email telling me you aren’t coming.  We had party hats for you , Zoe and Jacob.  I made a candy necklace for you, James.  I bought enough donuts for you both, Yasmine and Britney.

I am glad 4 of our friends did come over today.  A party of 6 preschoolers was a good size.  We had fun playing pin the tail on the donkey, drinking out of teacups and eating birthday donuts.  But, I am mad that the others did not show.  Good thing Pookie and Geetle are too young to notice, I would hate to see their feelings hurt.  The ironic part is that I am sure Zoe, James and the others did not refuse to come….their parents never gave them the opportunity.    Stupid parents.  I will still say “Hello” to Zoe on the bus, but I might not talk to her Mom at the next Field Day.

Merry Christmas from Geetle, Pookie and Giggles. Sorry giggles could not join Pookie and Geetle for the picture, she was unexpectedly called away for an urgent nap.

I am sooooo getting one of these! I already bought the dowels.

I am guilty.  I forget we are at war.  I rarely watch the news and its easy to skip those articles in the newspaper.  I forget that alot of people are not where they want to be this Christmas.  I forget that some people have made great sacrifices, now and in the past, in the name of American pride and freedom.  I got a reminder the other day.

I am pleased to be on the mailing list for the official publication of the Eighth Air Force Second Air Division Association.  These are veterans of WWII and I read their Journal for interesting stories and historical facts about that time period.  But as they remember their service in WWII, they also remember service men and women active today.  This is the poem they chose for the cover of their Winter edition.  Thanks for the reminder.

‘Twas The Night Before Christmas,
He Lived All Alone,
In A One Bedroom House
Made Of Plaster And Stone.

I Had Come Down The Chimney
With Presents To Give,
And To See Just Who
In This Home Did Live.

I Looked All About,
A Strange Sight I Did See,
No Tinsel, No Presents,
Not Even A Tree.

No Stocking By Mantle,
Just Boots Filled With Sand,
On The Wall Hung Pictures
Of Far Distant Lands.

With Medals And Badges,
Awards Of All Kinds,
A Sober Thought
Came Through My Mind.

For This House Was Different,
It Was Dark And Dreary,
I Found The Home Of A Soldier,
Once I Could See Clearly.

The Soldier Lay Sleeping,
Silent, Alone,
Curled Up On The Floor
In This One Bedroom Home.

The Face Was So Gentle,
The Room In Such Disorder,
Not How I Pictured
A United States Soldier.

Was This The Hero
Of Whom I’d Just Read?
Curled Up On A Poncho,
The Floor For A Bed?

I Realized The Families
That I Saw This Night,
Owed Their Lives To These Soldiers
Who Were Willing To Fight.

Soon Round The World,
The Children Would Play,
And Grownups Would Celebrate
A Bright Christmas Day.

They All Enjoyed Freedom
Each Month Of The Year,
Because Of The Soldiers,
Like The One Lying Here.

I Couldn’t Help Wonder
How Many Lay Alone,
On A Cold Christmas Eve
In A Land Far From Home.

The Very Thought
Brought A Tear To My Eye,
I Dropped To My Knees
And Started To Cry.

The Soldier Awakened
And I Heard A Rough Voice,
“Santa Don’t Cry,
This Life Is My Choice;

I Fight For Freedom,
I Don’t Ask For More,
My Life Is My God,
My Country, My Corps.”

The Soldier Rolled Over
And Drifted To Sleep,
I Couldn’t Control It,
I Continued To Weep.

I Kept Watch For Hours,
So Silent And Still
And We Both Shivered
From The Cold Night’s Chill.

I Didn’t Want To Leave
On That Cold, Dark, Night,
This Guardian Of Honor
So Willing To Fight.

Then The Soldier Rolled Over,
With A Voice Soft And Pure,
Whispered, “Carry On Santa,
It’s Christmas Day, All Is Secure.”

One Look At My Watch,
And I Knew He Was Right.
“Merry Christmas My Friend,
And To All A Good Night.”

Written by Lance Corporal James M. Schmidt in 1986. Printed in Leatherneck (The Magazines for the Marines) in December 1991.

Compliments of Pookie’s Special Ed teacher, a list of ways to reduce Holiday stress for a child with Special Needs:

For Car Trips:

1. Travel in 2 cars so that someone can return home with a child who gets distressed.

2. Eat before you leave, or bring a snack along.

3. Bring a quiet toy, such as a calculator or coloring book

For Social Gatherings:

1. Arrive early to let your child get accustomed to the growing number of people.

2. If he/she becomes distressed, find a quiet place to chill, or go for a walk.

3. Bring a favorite toy from home.

4. Before the event, take time to look at pictures of the people you will see, talking about each person and learning their name.

5. Before the event, do “Social Stories” and practice simple courtesy phrases and responses to questions (How are you? I am fine. How is school. Its Fun.)

6. Let trusted others spend time with your child to help.

7. Its OK to be selective in the events you attend.

For Shopping Trips:

1. Go early, before the stores open. Walk around, get familiar with the building, buy a snack, look at the fountain, etc. Maybe you stay and shop, maybe you go home right then. Increase the time spent at the mall each time.

2. Be positive and offer small rewards for staying close.

3. Teach your child not to touch things when shopping. Visit a clothing store or another store with unbreakable items first. Give your child a chance to model behavior and practice.

4. Bring a helper to offer an extra set of eyes and hands, to help keep your kids safe.

5. Provide earplugs or headphones to moderate noise and activity around them.

For Church:

1. Bring a family member or friend to stay with your other kids, if you need to walk outside with your child.

2. Bring a quiet object of concentration or visual focus, like pictures, books or stuffed animals.

3. Give your child a job, like greeting people, gathering up bulletins left in the pews after the service, etc.

This is a great list. I wish someone would write a list of how to make the holidays less chaotic and stressful for typically developing children. Oh wait! This list might work for that too! Huh, it seems we have found another way in which Special Needs children are just like their typically developing peers.

On a serious note, I do like this list. These are things that would be helpful for both Pookie and Geetle. The underlying message in this list is that if we put as much effort into giving our children opportunities to behave as we put into yelling at them after the fact, our children will behave. It takes forethought and planning to do these things, take snacks for the trip, bring books, practice successful shopping trips, etc. But it pays off big time.