Be A Good Mom

I saw a link on line offering a free lemonade stand for kids. Its a program called “Take a Stand” offered by the Sunkist company, designed to raise money for charities. I thought it looked like fun for Geetle and Pookie, so I filled in the form and forgot about it.

Then a GIANT package arrived on our porch. Our lemonade stand.

Geetle was ALL about the lemonade stand…from the second she saw BAGD open the giant flaps on the box. He assembled it. She planned. He set it up. She prepared. She made signs. She scrambled to find cups. She made a paper garbage can for the empties. She got a giant blue mixing bowl to use as her cash box. She was ready. BAGD bought a pretend cup. Giggles drove her motorcar to the stand and got one. 2 stuffed bears came through on their first date and stopped for a cup. While Geetle ran around the house getting more supplies, Pookie decided he liked the looks of the lemonade stand and set it up as a small satellite writing desk, away from his usual spot in the kitchen. Geetle came back and evicted him. By the next day, they had worked out an agreement.

They have not actually sold any real lemonade to any real customers yet. I would let them set up shop on the front lawn, but like alot of suburban neighborhoods, we don’t have a ton of foot traffic. So, we are waiting for July 20th, when we will all be at Grandma’s for the annual yard party. If BAGD can get the thing in the van, we will take it to WI for the party. I figure they can hit up the family crowd, have their fun and then not have to sit in the yard all day disappointed as no cars stop.

Geetle says the money will go to the animal doctor (animal shelter).

Stop by the Sunkist website and sign up for your own free lemonade stand. They really are cool. (T-man and Baby Belaina….I already signed you up for one…watch your giant mailbox for a giant package in a few weeks.)

Today was Wednesday.  We usually play with our friends EB and CB on Wednesday mornings.  The kids are pretty used to it and Geetle will tell me when its the right day.  Well, today I had to work, so how could we go play.  Mamaw was here to babysit and I was working in the basement.  This is why I like my Mom Friends…..they don’t mind if I send a proxy.  Mamaw met EB, CB and their Mom at the Tubes to play and have lunch.  Everyone had a good time.

I think its cool that my friend and my Mother in Law can have a playdate and have fun.   Kids are really the glue that holds society together.  You know how they say when all else fails, talk about the weather?  Well, I never get to that point.  No matter what, you can pretty much always talk about kids.   Everyone either has a kid, wants a kid, knows a kid or saw an interesting kid at the Jewel.   If I was trapped in a broken elevator with another person for 24 hours, I bet we could pass the time talking about kids.   I swear some people at work bait me into telling them kid stories.   Everyone likes a good kid story.  Some of my most requested stories:

• The time Pookie took out his own stitches.
• The time Pookie dumped a 5lb bag of flour on the kitchen floor because he “make waffles.”
• How Geetle won’t eat “the Queso”.
• How Geetle has gotten stitches twice in the past 2 years.
• The time Pookie stole a pair of pants from Carson Pirie Scott.
• What it looked like when 1 1/2 year old Pookie used to box with the cat.
• The times we had to go back and find Geetle’s Little Clifford doll when she would leave him all over town or include him in the headcount as we packed up and made sure we were all ready to leave anywhere.

If I ever run for President, I am going to turn every campaign lecture or reporter’s question in to a kid story.

Q:  Senator BAGM, what is your exit strategy for the War in Iraq?

A:  Well, I find that it is best to plan the night before, pack up what you can but leave room in your plans for flexibility.  I remember the time we packed up all the Christmas presents to take to Grandma’s house the next day.  Next thing you know, Pookie and Geetle were unwrapping them by the front door.   We had to change the plan, things weren’t as tidy, but we still got those presents to Grandma’s.

Q:  Do you think the current economic recession is a result of the sub-prime mortgage boom and crash?

A:   One thing always leads to another.  Certain things do make you more vulnerable to future troubles.  Its like the time we gave Pookie a dry erase board.  Next thing you know, he was scribbling on anything flat and shiny to see if it was one too.

Q:  How can we encourage the current enthusiasm for green products and energy conservation?

A:   You have to make it fun.  At Geetle’s school they have a compost bin for their garden.  What does Geetle know about it?  Two things.  One, you are cool if your mom sends you on the bus with a bag of banana peels for the teacher.  Two, worms poop in it.  Other than that, nothing.  But those two things are enough to keep us collecting banana peels.

I was feeling a little bad about Pookie’s art habit. Not really, since I think his art is a huge part of his life and brings out some of his best characteristics. But, each day as I sift through his dozens and dozens of pages, I was curious what it meant for the environment. Especially after an art day like today:

According to this website, An average tree would make 188 reams or 94,000 pieces of office paper. So, at his current rate of 15-20 pages per day, Pookie is using 4% of a ream a day. Which is .0212% of a tree a day. He is 5 years old. If his art habit continues at this rate, which we hope it does, until he is 40, he will use 255,500 sheets or 2.71 trees.

That’s fine with me. I call these 3 for him. Dibs.

There is a new show on the History channel about logging; Ax Men. I was a big fan of their show “Ice Road Truckers” so I would probably enjoy this one too. But, when I first read about it, I wondered if it would cause some bad publicity. We all know where paper comes from, but no one likes to think about all the fallen trees and naked forests. I will try to catch the series and see if they address that issue. In the meantime, I understand what the conservationists are saying, but I also understand that we all need paper. I think what Pookie draws on is recycled; if not, I will make sure our next ream is. But, in the end, I will let him draw on as many sheets as he wants. Drawing and writing are a huge part of his day. I would rather take away all his other toys.

If someone said “Hey, they’re hauling a huge dead whale down main street at 3pm!” You know where I would be. Yep, right on Main Street. You gotta see that.

Well, then I would have been sprayed with whale goo. Check out the shocking pictures.

I also highly recommend the other photos on this website, www.truckspills.com the website of odd, strange, interesting and unbelievable things spilled on the road by trucks. Its the best part of the 10 o’clock news, all in one place.

Reports say that J-Lo has named her babies Max and Emme. Cute names. But, unfortunate. As a first time parent, one cannot expect her to know this, but those are the names of the siblings on PBS’ “Dragon Tales”.

They’re nice kids and all. And they are Latino. So maybe it was on purpose. If not, lets hope that the show is not still popular when her kids get to school.

By the way, I predict if Jennifer Lopez has a third child, she will name him Enrique… he’s the tall one on the left.

If some kind of genie were to tell me that I could have one wish granted right now, without hesitating, I would say “I wish for a million dollars.”  I would be proud of myself for not wishing for some crazy amount of money; $1mil seems reasonable without being greedy.  It is a wish, afterall.  I would not wish to “cure” Pookie, because I love him the way that he is and understand that Autism is part of who he is.  I would not wish for world peace or and end to the war in Iraq, because those are complicated things I can’t control with one wish.   I feel that my wish is reasonable, a pretty good one. 

That’s the difference between grown ups and kids, right there.  I would wish for money.  What would kids wish for?  Well, 3 year old Prabesh Sapkota wanted just one thing.  He wanted to ride a yellow school bus and go to kindergarten for a day.  Just days before he died of leukemia, he got to do it. 

I am happy for Prabesh.  I am also very sorry that his parents lost their little boy.  And I am ashamed of myself for wanting a million dollars.   

What would you wish for? 

Are you proud of that? 

I don’t agree with offensive jokes.  But if you are going to make one…at least make one that makes sense.  Did anyone see the full context of the “retard” comment made by the contestant on “Big Brother?”  I read about it on MSNBC, but I don’t get it.   A hair salon for people with Autism? 

Pookie has autism.  Pookie also has very nice hair.  He does not particularly like getting it cut, but he tolerates it.  We did it last Saturday, in fact.  When I say he “tolerates” it, I mean that he thinks it tickles and he scrunches up his shoulders.   Wow.  Pretty erratic behavior for a 5 year old.  Is this guy saying that people with developmental disabilities often do not like the sensation of getting their hair cut and therefore don’t do it and, as a result, look messy and unkempt?  Its not an obvious connection.   In the engineering of building a joke, its got a poor foundation. 

What was he talking about?  What does a hair salon have to do with it?  The  fact that he makes such a poor joke really diffuses the situation for me.   I am less offended by his “retard” comment  because I pity him.  He is not so funny…and not so smart.  Maybe there is a special hair salon for that. 

• What’s Eating Gilbert Grape
• Rainman
• The Other Sister
• Forest Gump
• There’s Something About Mary

I have seen all of these movies, but I cannot watch them again. Not now. I have a very hard time watching certain characters. Today, I was watching one of those VH1 “I Love the 1990’s” shows. They started to discuss Johnny Depp and his 1993 movie “What’s Eating Gilbert Grape.” The purpose of that show is to show comedians making funny comments about the time period, so we can all reminisce and laugh. Several of the comedians made little jokes about Leonardo DiCaprio and his character in the movie.

“what a cute retard” they said.

Not funny. My problem with the movies listed above is not that they all unfairly or innacurately portray people with disabilities. Its just that some things hit too close to home and I cannot watch them right now, at this point in my life. So, Gilbert Grape is on my list. But, after seeing the clips of the movie, I am remembering that it was a “good” movie, right? I think I remember that Johnny Depp’s character was a good son and brother and he took care of his family, treating them well and trying to shelter them from the cruelness of the rest of the world. So, maybe this is one I should watch. How ironic that (if I remember the plot correctly) this movie was about acceptance and finding your happiness regardless of how the rest of the world viewed you, yet the comedians boil it down to Leonardo DiCaprio making “a cute retard.” That’s messed up.

Maybe I see it this way because of Pookie, but I hope that other people would agree with me. I know that a comedian’s job is to make jokes and that they have to be edgy, but I cannot believe that there is anyone left who laughs at “retard” jokes. Tell me I am right. I am right, aren’t I?

Have you heard about the new Hardees Breakfast Burrito?  920 calories and 60 grams of fat.   I have seen 5 or 6 media reports about it this week.  And I agree that it is shocking.  But, did you know that the McDonald’s Big Breakfast Deluxe has 1320 calories and 63 grams of fat?  That never made the news. 

Not only is there a World Rock Paper Scissors Society, they have advice on how to win. If you get any good, there is an International Competition and a $10k prize.

If you check out this link, I love the comment from the “greatest RPS player of all-time”, Master Roshambollah. He warns us against taking advice from RPS competitors because they might be handling out false tips to better their chances. He also says to be careful of the “RPS media.”

I really need to start paying more attention to the world around me. I had no idea.