Be A Good Mom

When did we start needing to make everything “exciting” so that kids will tolerate it? Why do we have to have hair salons with chairs shaped like ponies and motorcycles? Why does every child sized portion at a restaurant have to come with a toy or a scoop of ice cream? Why do vitamins have to be shaped like elephants or Bob the Builder? Why do some shopping carts now come with on-board DVD players?

News flash kids! I hate to be the one to break it to you, but life is not that interesting. At some point in your life, you have to get used to the boring, the pointless, the frustrating. And its my job to show it to you.

Now, I am not saying that kids need to be raised in a drab and grey adult world. I think that a child’s life should be fun. They should have moments of pure excitement and get to whoop it up. But, I also think they need to understand that these moments are balanced by moments of sheer boredom and that we all have to do things we don’t want to do.

Getting your haircut while riding the motorcycle or getting to ride in the DVD cart should be the exception, not the standard. When kids have too much, they do not appreciate anything. Boredom is a fact of life. Getting dragged to the store is a fact of life. I got dragged to Farm and Fleet as a child. BAGD got dragged to Sears Surplus. We drag our kids to WalMart. No child likes it, that is also a fact of life. Parents need to re-read that last sentence. To clarify: Your kids will be bored when you drag them to the store, but you still need to do it, even if they misbehave. If you don’t you are creating bigger problems for yourself.

See this boy? He did not listen to a word I just said. But I still dragged his heiney to the bank and the post office today.

Geetle started school on Monday.  She was very excited.  She picked out a special outfit and left her shoes by the door.  We packed her backpack and hung it on the door knob.  She was very in to the whole first day experience, even though its not her real first day of preschool, she has a year under her belt already. 

Truthfully, she has been getting ready all summer.  She waves to her school when we drive by.  She lobbied all summer for me to let her switch sessions so that she can be in Matthew’s class.   She saw her bus driver a local restaurant a few weeks ago and nearly plotzed.  Her pre-school does not ask for school supplies at the beginning of a session, but Pookie’s does. I had taken the kids to the store to get Pookie’s supplies the other day; he starts school next week.  While we were picking out the supplies, she very solemnly asks me “Did Ms. Sophia send a list of things for me to buy?”  aaawwwww!  No, Ms Sophia didn’t, but I could not tell her that.  So, I lied.  I said yes.  I forgot the list at home, but Ms Sophia said to bring markers, crayons, scissors and glue.  Geetle bounced up and down the aisle picking out her things.  We packed them up Sunday night.  On Monday I snuck a note in her backpack asking Ms Sophia to take the supplies as a donation, because it was very important to Geetle. 

When the bus came on Monday, she jumped right inside and said hello to Mr. Scott, the driver.  Some of the kids on the bus looked new, some I remembered from last year.  I got a huge wave as the bus pulled away. 

When she came back home, she said it was the same school, nothing new.  But the more we talked about it, the more she realized that some of the kids were new and that Ms. Sophia had reorganized all the learning centers over the summer.  And Sunny the Hamster looked bigger. 

I am glad she likes school.  It has been really good for her.  She has learned alot, academically and socially.  Plus, she likes to “be” and to “go”.  Going to school is her “thing”, just like BAGD and I go to work.  She likes having her own world and her own thing to do.  She is very grown up. 

Here is a cheap and fun art project that kids love. Colored Rice.

You will need:

• plain white rice
• rubbing alcohol
• food coloring
• empty glass jars

Pour the white rice into a bowl (not your best tupperware please). Pour rubbing alcohol over rice, enough to cover. Stir in food coloring until mixture reaches desired color. Make more bowls of different colors, as many as you like. Let set over night. (in the garage is best, I have found. If you leave these in your kitchen, the smell gets pretty intense).

The next morning, strain the rice from the alcohol. The rice has absorbed the food coloring. Spread rice out on newspaper covered cookie sheets and put in garage to dry; the remaining alcohol will evaporate. In a day or two, depending on the humidity of your garage, the rice will be dry. You may have to stir the rice a bit to speed up the drying.

Give the kids empty glass jars and let them layer the colored rice inside. If you have a baby in the house, baby food jars work great. It makes a mess, but at least its easy to sweep up. We also put a paper plate under the glass jars to catch most of the over spill.

We have done matched our rice colors to the season, added a few stickers and a fabric cover to the jar lid and given these as gifts to the grandparents. This project is great for toddlers too. Our little friend EB, who is barely 2, loves this one.

Have you ever met a kid who didn’t love band-aids?  Geetle loves a good boo-boo because it earns her a shiny band-aid.  She loves them all….the odd purple ones we got in some first aid kit, the Blues Clues ones, even the plain brown ones.  When she gets “hurt” she starts lobbying for a band-aid, bringing her boo-boo right up in to my face, so I can see the gapping wound and be sure to award it a band-aid.   Then once she has the band-aid, she does her best to keep it clean and dry because she knows I rarely award a second band-aid once the first one falls off.  Pretty typical behavior for a 4 year old, right?

But what about Pookie?  He does not seem get the whole band-aid thing.  He will take one if I give it to him, but will never ask for one.  He could care less.  I figure it’s an ASD thing.  He is a real steady-eddie.   He is not likely to show enthusiasm over something like a band-aid because it has no real tangible value.  It does not make noise, it is not edible, it does not play games.  It does none of the things he likes.  But, just when I think I have that boy figured out…he throws me a curve-ball.

The other night, Geetle had a hangnail.  She proudly showed it to me at bedtime and asked if she could have a band-aid.  I trimmed it a bit and then returned to the bedroom with the prized Veggie Tales band-aid.  She was very excited and bounded over the to door to meet me.  While she unwrapped it (also part of the fun) I look over to Pookie, sitting on his bed.  He is fervently checking his knees and hands for boo-boos, turning his hands over to check out every angle.

Take that, Autism!

I received my Kolcraft Contours Options 4 wheeler Stroller the other day and was all set to order my Lascal Kiddyboard boogie (stroller) board.  I had it bookmarked on some website and I thought I was ready to go.  Should be compatible with my new stroller, and holds 66lbs, per the website.  But then I saw that this website had a poor return policy (must initiate return within 20 days and have it back to company by 30 days and pay a 15% re-stocking fee).  So, I got worried again.  I decided to try and order it from Amazon.com.  But when I got to the Amazon page the exact same Kiddyboard said the weight capacity was 44 lbs!  What!?  So I went to the manufacturer’s website…they said 66 lbs.

Pookie weighs like 44.5 pounds right now, so I really needed the 66 lb weight capacity one.  I was so confused.  So, BAGD, the voice of reason, said “why don’t you just email the manufacturer and ask them to tell you the real weight capacity and exactly which one to buy.”  Oh.  Yeah.  That would probably work.  So, I sent off an email to Regal Lascal of Kennesaw GA, the US distributor for this Swedish made product.  A very nice lady named Monica emailed me back and explained that all the Lascal stroller boards will hold 66 lbs.  Every single one.  She said the retailer websites say 44 lbs because that is the highest US standard test they have completed, but they hold more.  She said at the company picnic, they parked one wheel of a Cadillac on the board and it was fine.   Great!  Now which one do I order, the Techno or the Maxi?  I was confused again.  I decided to call the number on the letterhead and see if I could get some help.  Monica answered!

I explained what my current problem was.  She asked me about my new stroller and even viewed it online to see what the rear axle looked like.  She said I should definately get a KiddyBoard Maxi, not a Lascal BuggyBoard.  She said the only problem was that the KiddyBoard Maxi had been redesigned this year and the new connector might not be the best match for my stroller.  Then she offered to sell me one of last year’s models, which would fit better, for half price!  I can return it if it does not fit.

So now I wait, for my box from Kennesaw GA.   I am going to connect it right away and make sure its right.  But…I think…I finally have it figured out, thanks to Monica.

Lately, both kids have been singing a lot.  Pookie always did; its how his echolalia comes out.  But Geetle seems to have joined the fun now too.  And honestly, BAGD and I do not mind at all.  Echolalia is tough to tolerate sometimes, but its alot easier when its a good rockin’ song. 

Current favorite of both kids:

 Go Go Pogo by Ralph Covert

Did you click and see those lyrics?  Also, this is a really fast paced song!  I can’t believe they can sing it.  Check out this link to hear it for yourself.   Sometimes they mutter or hum through parts, but they really belt out the part about Wheeling, West Virginia, Oregon and Caroline.  Their ability to memorize the lyrics is amazing.  And they are both learning to carry a tune and mimic the inflection and rhythm of the music with their voices.  BAGD and I are not singers, but maybe they will be. 

Do you see this girl?

Although she might not appear to be the “serious-type,” she is. Lately, she has been working quite diligently on a few things she considers to be character flaws. Notably, she mispronounces certain words, and it bothers her. Lately, she has been keeping a mental list of these words and practices them occasionally. For example:

Last Thursday: she had trouble with the word “crayola.” She practiced a few times and was happy with her progress.

Last Friday: she had trouble with the word “urinal.” (yes, we do own a urinal, more on that in a future post). She practiced the word, threw in a few “crayolas” for good measure and was happy.

Last Saturday: trouble with the word “developed.” We heard her in the backseat of the car…very quietly…”crayola, urinal, developed, crayola, urinal, developed.”

If this were our idea, we would be chastised for pushing her too hard! But, I swear, this is all Geetle. On Saturday, after hearing her hushed practice in the car, we told her she was a very good speaker and could someday get a job talking on the radio. She got embarrassed and would not answer us.

Its a funny stage of life. She speaks very clearly and the words she messes up are hard ones. We have never made a big deal of it, we just tell her the correct way to pronounce the word. Although she will wear a lopsided rats-nest ponytail for days or her shoes on the wrong feet, there are some things she is a perfectionist about. I wonder what that means for the future.

I am firmly against this fund-raising technique. When firemen do it, they call it “Fill the Boot” but other organizations do it too. Basically, by my definition, its whenever people stand in the middle of the traffic lanes at intersections and take up donations or sell candy, poppies, etc. They literally stand on the yellow line and walk between the cars at the red lights/stop signs, pausing by every car to solicit a donation.

Am I the only one who thinks this is a very very bad idea? Its traffic! Its moving, or will be as soon as the light turns green! I don’t care if you are wearing an orange vest with reflective tape….you are still in severe danger of being killed! Drivers are distracted now a days, talking on cell phones, eating tacos, re-buckling unruly kids who escaped in the back seat. They are not looking for orange vested volunteers walking between the lanes in the middle of the road! Get up on the sidewalk where you belong.

I happen to be an insurance professional, so I am a bit conservative by nature. I have spent the last 8 years working for one of the largest and most conservative property and casualty insurers in the country, so it has probably affected me a bit. But even if I was not in the insurance biz, as a parent and a rational citizen I would be against this idea. Its dangerous.

Why do so many charities think this is a good idea? Seriously, if anyone has been involved in one of these fundraisers, please email me. I want to better understand your thinking. When your organization is discussing this idea, do they talk about the dangers? Do you need a permit from the city? Do the cops give you and advice or warnings? Does the organization make you sign a waiver? Did you have any close calls? Am I the only one who thinks this is a bad idea? Are the donations so great that the danger is worth it?

When we named our kids, we went for classic names, but not those that are commonly heard. We looked at ones like Caroline, Josephine, Claire, Theodore, Abraham, etc. I can’t tell you what we picked, in case my kids want a career in politics, I can’t have some reporter digging up stories about how they pooped on the couch or ate leaves when they were young. But, I can tell you that neither of my 4 year olds has ever seen their name on one of those personalized bike license plates or pencil racks at Walmart. And it bums them out, especially Geetle. Sure, I have taken puffy paint and written their name on sippy cups and spelled it out in wooden letters on the bedroom wall….but they seem to know that its not the same. They want to see commercial products with their names spelled out in bright letters.

Problem Solved! At Olive Kids, they sell cute personalized placemats (amongst other personalized items, bedding and decorative items for kids). Geetle would love the pirate placemat. Pookie would love the zoo animals or fish. They even have holiday ones. Island Review is giving away a chance to win a $50 Olive Kids gift card. I would have fun with that. I would get 2 placemats for each kid and another one for Papa, my Dad. He has a special spot that he always likes to reserve at the dinner table, but one of the grandkids always seems to beat him to it. If he had is own placemat, they would not sit there! Haha!

I would get Papa this one with the turkeys, because he always says its hard to fly like an eagle when you are surrounded by turkeys.

This is what my mom taught the kids to do in our kiddie pool.

They stand on the end of the slide and jump as high and as far out as they can. Is this the same woman who made my sister and I wear head scarves almost constantly from 1974-1978…so that we would not get ear infections? Or the woman who considered buying my nephew a helmet so he would not hurt himself when he fell as a toddler? I guess when you turn 4 1/2 and get your “permanent bones” you can live it up a little.

My kids are lucky enough to have a full set of grandparents, 4 total. And they all spend alot of time together, so I have noticed a few things that are very grandparent- specific. All those funny coffee mugs and t-shirts were right, something changes when you become a grandparent. You start going to McDonalds once a week, even though you will not eat the food. You will fall asleep on the couch at 3pm, but fight for a preschoolers right to skip their nap. You don’t want to hear me or BAGD use the F-bomb, but you laugh when your granddaughter says the preschool equivalent (C-r-a-p or “what the heck!”).

I would say its not right, but I can see some things that changed for me when I became a parent, so I guess its all fair. I send Geetle to scurry around the house to get things I left in the basement or upstairs. I make Pookie pick up the dirty laundry under the bathroom counter and put it in the basket for me. I use my kids as an excuse to skip to the head of bathroom lines. I don’t mind packing snacks for them on a day of errands, because then I remember to pack one for me too.

So, I guess its all Ok in the end. Everyone moves up a rung on the ladder of life when a new generation is born. We all get to shed our old personas and start something new.