Be A Good Mom

This cheap $1 Store toy gave her a rash where the moustache touched her lip, the furry hair stuck to her sweaty face and it smelled kind of funny…..but she wanted to wear it. And she did.

More pictures to come, but here is one that Shel’s friend Mary gave us of the wedding. See those hot rods in the background? One had a “Dukes of Hazzard” song as the horn. Mark and his friends are car guys. Fun way to personalize your wedding.

A few pictures from our recent trip to the water park. Pookie loved the wave pool. He has always loved the feeling of falling or tipping over. The wave pool plays right into that! Geetle loved the kiddie waterslides and the inner tube ride. These pictures are a bit gray, because it actually did rain that day. I think they would have turned out better in the sun. We used a disposable waterproof camera and then sent it to Snapfish.com for developing. We have not received the prints yet, but Snapfish posted these on line for me today. Pretty cool way to get your film developed. Cheap too.

Have you seen this series of books? They are amazing. Do you see that the dock is a cutting board with cinnamon stick piers? Do you see that the Ferry is an upside down brush? Do you see the building made of Fig Newtons? Crazy! Check out this link for another view on Amazon. Hit the “Search Inside” button for a close up of a train which is actually made from a coffee pot, handcuffs, wrenches and soda cans. With a baby shoe on top! Whoa!

We picked this book up for $.59 at Goodwill. The kids said they did not want it, but I was intrigued. Now I cannot put it down and they love it too. We read it at bedtime, taking turns pointing out things we see. Geetle sometimes sees the abstract items (i.e. “hey, that carnival ride is made of scissors!”). But she is often fooled. She likes the game, however and is seeing more and more each time. They say there is 100 hidden items on each page. So far, we have not looked at the answer page; we prefer to discover a few more each time.

Surprisingly, Pookie is learning to see both the abstract and the concrete. One time he will tell me its a sidewalk, the next time he will say its crackers. Both are true! I worried that this book might fry his brain a bit, since abstract concepts are tough for him, but he seems to be doing well. He also likes a book called Baby Food by Saxton Freymann, in which fruits and vegetables are made into baby animals. When we read this book, he will tell me the pictures are of “banana giraffe” or “monkey kiwi.” I think both these books have helped him see how the concrete and the abstract are connected.

If you had a “Magic Eye” book 15 years ago and could not put it down… or wondered “Where’s Waldo”….you need to get a book from this series. Same addiction, new millennium.

Echolalia can sound like alot of things. It is officially defined as : Involuntary parrotlike repetition of a word or sentence just spoken by another person. But that is a one dimensional definition and does not really help you visualize it. And sometimes its not one word or one setence; it might be the entire text of a children’s book or entire passages from movies. Its also not always immediate. For Pookie, echolalia comes out in a few different forms.

1. random phrases. He often asks me “did you see the butterfly mailbox?” I do not know where that comes from. But each time he does it, he makes a point of *asking* me, with eye contact and he seems to care what my answer is. So I answer every time.

2. repetition of words/phrases just said. For example, if I ask him, “do you want some milk?” He might answer “do you want milk?”

3. echolalia for fun. Pookie sings almost constantly. Its one of the perks we get out of this whole thing. His singing is actually quite good and very entertaining. He knows entire songs. He will make up noises to fill in for the instrumental parts. Luckily, his musical repertoire is pretty diverse. Here’s what’s on his internal iPod right now:

• I Love my Lips- by Larry the Cucumber, of Veggie Tales fame
• Zoot Suit Riot- by Cherry Poppin’ Daddies
• Mommy and Me- Theme song from the DVD ( I will admit that we have heard this one a few too many times lately)
• Little Mr. Roo- by Carly Simon, from the the Pooh’s Heffalump Movie soundtrack
• Ain’t That a Shame- by Fats Domino
• There was a Farmer who had a dog, and B-I-N-G-O was his Name-o, a classic
• I Gotta Be Clean- by Sesame Street
• Movin’ Right Along- by the Muppets
• Nobody Loves You like Your M-O-Double M-Y, by John Lithgow
• Ta-Ra-Ra-Boom-De-Ay, a classic
• Hello, My Name is Joe, by Stephen Fite

4. Angry echolalia. When Pookie does not know how to better express himself, he uses angry echolalia. This week, we upped the ante on the poop-training. Now, if he poops in the potty, he gets a Kit Kat stick. He understands, believe me. He wants those Kit Kats. But poop is a fickle thing, you can’t just make it happen. So, sometimes he walks around the house howling “first poop, then Kit Kat treat!” We know that is his way of complaining about the situation. He does this kind of thing in other situations and seems to be his way of saying “Its not fair!” or “Out damn poopie, out!”

BAGD also wrote on this topic, as part of his Autism series. You should also go read that post.

Pookie’s echolalia is significant, but tolerable. It makes us laugh and is sometimes entertaining. The bottom line is that you cannot stop echolalia, but you can divert it into proper language. PECS cards and sign language help. But, if you try to make someone with echolalia be quiet, it will come out harder and faster. Its involuntary. I won’t go into how to divert it into proper language, because that would take a long time to explain and I am not qualified to give real advice on it. BAGD and I are hacks, we feel our way through this autism thing, focusing on what works for Pookie. We never know if what we do would work for someone else, but we offer it as another idea. My best advice is : ask a special ed teacher or behavior therapist how to use PECS or return language to break into the echolalia.

For your consideration I present:

The Stroller Safety Flag

Best product ever? or Retailer preying on parent’s paranoia? You decide.

**When we built our backyard fence, I had 25-35 of those little orange flags all over my backyard, marking the utility lines. If I had known, I would have given them to Grandma V to sell on eBay.

I cannot wait for school to start. I am sure alot of parents say that. But I mean it…and mine are only in preschool. Summer is too chaotic. Summer camp here, tutoring there, summer school with busing here, summer school without busing there. Playdates, requests to go to the pool, feeling guilty for not wanting to supervise backyard play because its too hot. The list goes on and on. Summer! Blah! I am barely keeping my head above water.

When school starts in the Fall, things will return to normal…predictable normal…quiet normal. Yes, I know the baby will be born in October and that will stir the pot, but at least that is just one kid. I will know where the other 2 are M-F every afternoon. And those magic buses will come and get them! Oh how I love those buses! Sure, its nerve-wracking to put a 4 yr old on a bus and I am a slave to the clock, often waiting on the porch so I do not miss the “beep, beep” when they return 2 hours later. But at least the buses do part of the work for me. And I can do my “work” ( I am employed, by the way) while they are gone.

Predictability! I see your return coming! I see it in every $.17 bottle of glue at Walmart and BOGO half-off gym shoe sale at Kohl’s. Welcome! Welcome!

Did I ever mention that Pookie has done most of his potty-training using this:

Its called the Peter Potty and you can get it at Leaps and Bounds for $40. Ours was a gift from Uncle Ben. We thought it was funny at the time, but now, its a big part of Pookie’s potty training. He does much better standing up than sitting down. And the portability of this thing is great. We used to haul it from room to room, so it was right there when he needed it. Now we use it in the basement, which does not have its own regular toilet. We have caught him trying to sit in it, but we tell him to go find the “pooping potty” when that happens.

I don’t know why it worked….or how Uncle Ben ever heard about it, since he has no kids. But I am grateful that Pookie took to it so well. Maybe the act of standing up makes more sense in his head and he feels more in control of the act. Maybe he likes the speed of stand-peeing, rather than sit-peeing. Maybe he likes that Geetle can’t use it. I really do not know. I also do not know if it would work for every boy, but it sure did for Pookie.

A few nights ago, Pookie and Geetle spent the night at Mamaw and Papaw’s. Although it was just one night, and Mamaw has alot of the things they would need, we always pack a suitcase for each kid. Part of the experience is picking out pajamas, a special book, clothes for the next day and a stuffed animal to sleep with. Sometimes, Geetle even asks us to stuff her pillow in the suitcase. We think that the act of preparing for the night away, helps deal with any anxiety.

As far as BAGD and I, we have our own rituals for these events. Here are our tips for a successful slumber party.

1. Whatever. That is the mantra for the night. I don’t even want to know what they ate, what time they went to bed or who may or may not have been allowed to walk on the pool table.

2. No staying home. Sometimes we go to a movie, sometimes we run errands. But we try to make the most of the time without the kids. But we always do it together.

3. Please and Thank you. We, BAGD and I, mind our manners. We always ask if the kids can spend the night, we don’t tell. We always pick the kids up promptly at the agreed-upon time. And we follow rule #1 strictly. If you are nice enough to take our kids for a night, we don’t really care what rules you broke, as long as they stayed happy and safe.

4. Second day remorse. We expect the kids to be a little “off” the next day. We know they did not sleep as well as usual and it takes a while to get back to their old selves.

By following these rules, we all enjoy these special sleepovers.

Before our trip to the water park last weekend, I was presented with a problem….what to wear?

Bean had given me her maternity swimsuit. She admitted it was not fashionable, but was very comfortable. I tried it on Friday night. The top is sort of a butt-length dress. The bottoms look like something George the Animal Steele would wear.

In the end, I decided to flaunt what the fertility doctor gave me. I’m pregnant, 7 months pregnant. There is no hiding that. So I wore the 2 piece tankini that I had from last summer.  The bottoms sat below the belly.   The top hit me in an odd place, so I just tucked it up under the bra-band and made it look like a regular bikini top. There was a whole lot of wide open space between the top and the bottoms. And a whole lot of belly, but that’s OK. I felt really comfortable with it. I am more of a tankini person when I am not pregnant, but when I am, I guess I am more of a bikini person.

It is surprising how liberating pregnancy can be. I have a pretty good self image, I don’t care too much about what others think in that department. But I am aware of societal pressures and have to remind myself to ignore them, thereby proving that I do pay some attention to them. I doubt I would wear the same outfit when I am 1 month postpartum, but I am happy to wear it now. Its kind of a cool feeling. I was probably strutting a bit on Saturday. Showing off my belly and all.