Be A Good Mom

Not only is there a World Rock Paper Scissors Society, they have advice on how to win. If you get any good, there is an International Competition and a $10k prize.

If you check out this link, I love the comment from the “greatest RPS player of all-time”, Master Roshambollah. He warns us against taking advice from RPS competitors because they might be handling out false tips to better their chances. He also says to be careful of the “RPS media.”

I really need to start paying more attention to the world around me. I had no idea.

Effervescent denture cleaning tablets work great for cleaning toothbrushes. They will also take the buildup off an electric toothbrush handle. Just be careful not to get the battery part wet. I take the heads off the toothbrushes and soak the handle, top down, in a cup of water and 1 tablet. Minty fresh.

I am sure this is no surprise to many parents but, kids love bubblewrap. We got a package in the mail the other day and it contained a large sheet of the big dot bubble wrap. The kids went ape-poop. We poked it. We jumped on it with our shoes off. We jumped on it with our shoes on. We twisted it. We tried to see who could pop the loudest, the fastest. Just when we thought we were done, we found a pocket of dots that we had missed!

My kids can never work in a warehouse, they would get fired for spending all day popping the bubblewrap. I think its genetic though, Papa still likes bubblewrap too.

Make sure to save any bubblewrap that you receive in the mail. Its great for some (supervised) fun!

Today, I took over BAGD’s StumbleUpon account. He had the preferences set to all sorts of weird topics that no one really wants to read about…like “open source code” “Linux” and “futurism.” (If you do like that sort of thing, check out his blog at www.nerdzapper.com. Here are some things I found today after resetting the preferences to my tastes.

Oh my gosh, if I had the time and the maple leaves, I would totally do this.

I have thought about drying some laundry outside, but that sort of thing don’t fly in the ‘burbs. I am sure my neighbors would have something to say about it. But, then again, its really none of their business.

Funny signs that did not quite translate correctly in Japan.

Wikipedia’s list of unusual deaths in history. Yipes. And I am most worried about Heart Disease.

How to Hide and Airplane Factory. Looks like a real subdivision to me.

How to Fold a Dollar Bill to look like a T-shirt. Good gift idea.

Interesting things you can print out at home. A long list, lots of variety. Something for everyone.

Bean, Shel and Kel, you should teach the kids at school to do this. They would think you were soooo cool.

We have a book of these photos, Pookie loves it. I will have to show him this one.

Poor girl. Tricked by Hooters. I almost feel sorry for her.

Did I ever mention that I work for an insurance company? Amongst other things, I handle Worker’s Compensation coverage. If these were done on the job, death or injury from every single one of these situations would be covered. Isn’t that awful? Makes me want to switch jobs. Wise up people!

A Food Cravings Chart. This is interesting. MOM always told me that chewing ice was a sign of low iron in the blood. I guess she was right.

Yes, I did watch the video, because I had to know how it worked. Basically, this is a pee funnel, called the P-Mate. Not something I see myself buying, but its interesting to know that someone invented it. The spokeswoman seems to know its an odd product. I can kind of sense in her narration that she knows people are snickering. I guess this popped up on StumbleUpon because I selected “women’s issues” as one of my categories. Not having a place to pee is a big women’s issue, according the them. Personally, most of my daily travels do not take me to places with unclean bathrooms. I am pretty mainstream. No pun intended.

I need to start writing my brilliant ideas down! I thought up this idea years ago, (well…not really, but close to it.) I always told BAGD that I was going to start a nudie magazine full of ordinary people, but the catch was that you could not buy it if you were interested in seeing naked people. You could only buy it if you were interested in the scientific, sociological study of body image. It was going to be for people to see how normal people looked and thereby prove to themselves that they too were “normal.” I am glad that someone got the idea off the ground. (*obvious disclaimer alert* there is nudity on the link, so don’t click it if you aren’t expecting that.)

I like this chair for book lovers. t would also work for a really lazy mailman who wanted to sort mail without standing up. Lots of cubbies.

Maybe this is why the world has gone to Heck in a hand basket over the last few decades. There are no really good inspirational messages for teenagers anymore. The last good one was the whole “This is your brain. This is your brain on crack” thing. Where are all the good PSAs and After school specials?!

A list of George Carlin quotes, for my MOM. Such language Mother! I cannot believe you have read every single one of his books.

That’s it. It look me a long time to find this quality list in the things I was Stumbled to. But luckily, I am working on my sedentary hobbies again, so this was a perfect use of a morning. Also, the baby was kicking alot during this. I guess she appreciates the internet as well.

Thanks for your comments on our baby name.     A few things:

Not only do we need a real name for the baby, she will need a new internet nickname too.  Taco Supreme was great in the beginning, because that was my only real “I’d do just about anything for one” craving.  But I am sort of over it now.   But we will use it until she gives us a better one.  I will have to pick one fast, because I do not want BAGD to pick it.  I am not so fond of the names he uses for our other kids.  Partly because off the ‘net, I call Geetle my Pookie Pie.  Its just confusing.  And how can Pookie grow up into the tough little man he is destined to be, when he started out as a “Pookie?”

The campaign poster was for some local election…city council or something.  I am a bit ashamed to admit that I did not vote in that election, so I really have no idea what she was running form or if she won.  But she had a cool name.  And there is a stop light in front of the Jiffy Lube, so I had time to glance over and read it.

BAGD’s middle name is from a character that has been in a movie and an actual literary-type book.  Luckily, Shrek has never made it a “real” book (I do not count all those movie tie-in books that they sell after any adolescent movie.  You know, like “Lightning McQueen goes to the Dentist!”.)

My choice for first name is from a TV show that I watched on TVLand, but I am sure they play it on alot of other channels.  Its kind of an old standby, as syndicated TV shows go.

We briefly debated Lauren and Thea.  BAGD likes Lauren.  I liked Thea.  Geetle is sure the baby will be named Kate, her favorite cartoon baby on the Arthur show.  Pookie’s only contribution was “Miss Kendra” which will not work because it would remind me of Hugh Hefner’s #3 girlfriend on “Girls Next Door.”  I am sure he would also like Emily, the name of his swimming instructor.  When he says “Emily” he always giggles a bit…I think he liked her quite a bit.

I can say no more.  I need to spend my mental energy thinking up a good middle name, so that BAGD and I can get back to our debate.  Right now, he refuses to discuss the issue with me, because I do not have a full name to offer, just a first name.
But, if you have any ideas, I tend to like Grandmother names.  So, if you would like to leave a comment with the name of your grandmother, you just might find that I pick it.  I have not meet a “modern” name yet that I like.  Those of you who know Geetle’s real name will understand.  I think the prime time period for my names is about 1900-1945.  Any suggestions?

Today I bought the kids some $1.47 foam craft kits at the store. The kits include precut foam pieces in various colors and shapes. If you glue it all together, it makes a dog or a cat, etc. I thought it would be good for some craft fun.

When I got home I asked Pookie and Geetle if they wanted to do an art project. I have never seen two kids run so fast for the kitchen table. I got out the glue. They literally bounced in their chairs.

We carefully spread out the pieces and used the package label as a guide in creating our cat and dog. Pookie worked hard at using the correct amount of glue. He made his Dog look just like the one on the package. Geetle wanted to do hers diferently and made up her own design for the cat’s spots. When we were done, Geetle suggested we glue them to popsicle sticks to make puppets; so we did.

BAGD and I were surprised at how much they loved this project. It allowed Geetle to show her creativity and make her cat just the way she wanted it to be. It allowed Pookie to practice his motor skills and copying a template. Geetle excels at this type of project because she likes to follow directions and make things that are pretty. She has really good art skills and turns the project into a full experience (adding puppet sticks or talking about what the cat’s name might be, or planning who she will show the cat to tomorrow and how it can sleep in the drawer under her bed.) Its all very cute to watch.
Pookie likes to do art projects, but he sometimes gets distracted by the opportunity to color sort the markers or loses interest before the project is done. Also, he has a hard time with projects that are too free-form. He likes some boundaries. This project has a definite goal. There are just enough pieces to make a dog. If you do it right it will look like the one on the package. He likes that; it does not overwhelm him. Sometimes, Pookie just phones it in. He goes through the motions to make us happy but clearly is not enjoying the games we ask him to play with us. But in this case, I believe he truly had fun.

I think I will get some more of these kits.

Tonite at dinner Pookie gave us his recipe for a treat.

• Milk
• Cookies
• 1 tablefork of vegetables

I don’t know what it makes, but he was pretty adamant that this was the recipe. And, yes, that is 1 tablefork, not 1 tablespoon.

Will not be:

• Abigail
• Victoria
• Ashley
• Madison
• Sophia
• Grace
• Anna
• Brooke
• Cassidy
• Elizabeth
• Emory
• Cameron
• Hannah
• Lila
• Holly

Now, will you people get off my back?

According to BAGD, the baby’s name will be:

• First name= the name I saw on a political campaign poster in front of the Jiffy Lube. The woman was running for some local office. I saw it and said “hmmm…nice name.”
• Middle name= the name of a somewhat popular non-human literary and movie star.

But, I am still lobbying for my #1 name:

• First name= a name from a TV show I watched alot during my first pregnancy.
• Middle name= undecided, which is probably why BAGD thinks he has this race won.

A L.A. judge presiding over the Spears-Federline custody battle set a long list of requirements that each parent must follow in order to retain custody. Among the requirements:

• Neither parent can take the kids out of state without written consent of the other.
• Brit and K-Fed cannot make derogatory statements about each other.
• Each must complete a parenting class.
• No corporeal punishment.
• No alcohol or non-prescription controlled substance within 12 hours of caring for the children.

Brit also has to:

• Attend counseling once a week to address “parenting issues”
• Meet with parenting coach for at least 8 hours a week, with the written report to be provided to K-Fed.
• And submit to random drug/alcohol tests twice a week

Wow. Is that typical? At what point does the judge just say, “this cannot be fixed” and take custody away from her? Clearly the judge is aware of her issues. I feel bad for Britney in one way. She is not allowed to make mistakes privately and learn from them. And because of that, her mistakes keep snowballing. I think these requirements, besides being in the best interest of the kids, are meant to snap her back to reality and force an immediate and drastic change. From what I have read on the internet and in IN Touch Weekly though, she is defensive and these requirements will probably have the opposite effect on her.

Here is my best attempt at compiling all these in one place. Take a look for yourself and you be the judge. Is she a bad parent?

1. April 2006, Sean Preston falls out of high chair and hits his head. The babysitter is blamed.
2. April 2006, Britney drives with 8 month old Sean Preston on her lap.
3. April 2006, Britney is alleged to worry that Sean Preston has suffered brain damage from the 2 or 3 times he fell out of her bed while he was sleeping with her.
4. May 2006, Britney is spotted driving with Sean Preston in a forward-facing carseat. Not illegal under CA law, but ill-advised.
5. May 2006, Britney stumbles outside a NY hotel while carrying SeanPreston, nearly dropping him.
6. December 2006, Britney begins spending alot of time with Paris Hilton, partying. Paris defends her saying “partying has not come in the way of her parenting.”
7. July 2007, Britney and her kids squat at a Pacific Palisades CA home they toured as part of a real estate deal; a home on the market for $6.5 million. They eat tacos and mess up the furnishings, Britney’s bodyguards even going to her home to retrieve some of her belongings and bringing them back to the home.
8. July2007, Britney takes her kids for a boat ride in Marina del Rey; the children do not wear life jackets.
9. July 2007, it is reported that Britney has her sons fetch her cigarettes from around the house, calling them “Mama’s lollipops.”
10. August 2007, DCFS investigates allegations of poor dental hygiene, eating and sleeping habits of Britney’s children. It is alleged that Britney tried to get a LA dentist to whiten Sean Preston’s teeth, rotting from Baby Bottle Syndrome.

Throughout this time period it is alleged that Britney passes her children to body guards and nannies, rarely spending quality time with them, drinks, uses drugs, swears, feeds her children junk food, does not keep them on a schedule of naps/bedtimes and isolates them from their extended family due to her conflicts with these people.
In the category of odd, but not directly affecting her children:

1. June 2006, Britney does an interview with Matt Lauer of “Dateline.” She acts erratically, chews gum, looks disheveled and sobs.
2. November 2006, Britney is seen dancing at a Las Vegas club, without pants. She was hot, reportedly, and took her pants off to cool down.
3. December 2006, over the course of a few weeks Britney is escorted out of a LA club for erratic behavior and is photographed several times wearing short dresses and no underwear.
4. February 2007, Britney shaves her head in a Tarzana CA salon.
5. February 2007, Britney enters rehab. twice.
6. March 2007, Britney enters rehab. Again.
7. July 2007, Britney strips to her underwear and splashes in the ocean near Malibu.
8. July 2007, Britney storms out of an OK! Magazine photo shoot after letting her dog poop on a $6k dress, peeing with the bathroom door open, shrieking at the staff and walking away with clothing and accessories that were not comps.
9. August 2007, Britney hits another car in a parking lot and leaves the scene.
10. August 2007, Britney is seen in Beverly Hills wearing a shirt as a dress…no pants, questionable on the underwear.
11. Sept 2007, a dazed-looking Britney dances and lip synches her way through her “comeback” performance at the VMAs.
12. September 2007, Britney’s former body guard claims to have witnessed her using cocaine at least twice.

I think the evidence points to the fact that she lacks common sense and does not put her children’s needs ahead of her own desires. Is she the worst parent ever? No. Those parents are listed here. But she does seem ill-prepared to take care of her children and does need help.