Be A Good Mom

Having had both a vaginal birth and a C-section I am in the position to be able to decide which is better and less painful. So, in the interest of science, I am going to call it, so that all the world will know. Ready?

If you are afraid of labor, then maybe you think you would prefer a C-section. Labor is nerve-wracking. I had an epidural both times, so the pain was manageable, but the length of time it takes and the fear of the unknown is stressful.

If you plan on an epidural, then labor is not so bad. Sure, the contractions hurt. And they come every 30 seconds or so at the end. And the epidural hurts for a minute. But during the actual pushing out of the baby, all you feel is pressure and tingling. How serious of a pain this is, depends on your personal pain threshold. Episiotomies are great, because they prevent tearing. And if you can get thru it without developing hemorrhoids, that is all the better for your recovery.

C-sections do not (DO NOT) eliminate the pain of delivery. They often do not eliminate the pain of labor either. I went thru labor and then still had an emergency C-Section. During a C-section (local anesthetic) you will feel tremendous pressure and tugging and the Dr. cuts thru 3 or 4 layers of your innards to get to the baby. It hurts. In my opinion, more than a vaginal birth.

Most importantly, after a C-section you are looking at weeks and weeks of recovery time. I am one week post-delivery and I do not think I will be 100% for a long time; I am probably 25% right now. With a vaginal birth, I would have been 80% recovered by this point.

So, for me, vaginal is the way to go. I think its less pain up front, but even if it was not, I would rather have more pain during the labor and delivery and a shorter recovery time.

According to one of the nurses I met at the hospital, C-sections are more and more common and I was in the majority among the my peers in the Mother Baby Unit that day. According to this article, voluntary C-sections are increasing. While this number includes those who do not attempt vaginal after a C-section (the VBAC), it still includes those who elect a C-section for their first delivery when not medically indicated. I don’t know any thing about the VBAC, but did read that it is not as risky as woman perceive it to be.

During one of my days at the hospital, a different OB from my medical group came by to check on me. He looked at my charts and noticed that I had delivered the twins vaginally. I said yes, and I was happier with my recovery then than I was now. He said that if he had been the one to deliver me then, he would have “done a C-section.” (not “recommended a C-section”) Bold statement, since its ultimately my decision whether to try for a vaginal or not. But, to be honest, if the Dr. had recommended a C back then, I probably would have said yes, out of ignorance. But now, I know better. I have read that vaginal births result in lower infant mortality, shorter recovery time, less chance of complications and infections. If the pain during delivery is greater for vaginal then C-section, so what. To be honest, I have forgot all about the pain of labor and delivery….but I am very aware of the pain in my abdomen today. Everyone is different, but I believe that if I had delivered vaginally, I would have less pain today.

So, the answer to my question is: Unless you have a medical reason for needing a C-section, I would say go for the vaginal. Its easier in the long run.

We have been home since Sunday afternoon. Things are going well. I think we all are getting used to things:

Baby (we are still working on her blog name)

She rarely cries, but definitely knows how to do it when the time is right. She stares intently and loves to be held. She had been taking 3 oz of formula every 3 hours in the hospital. Since we got home, she is changing a bit. Sometimes she takes forever to finish a bottle; sometimes only taking half of it. But, she is still pretty predictable on her timing; which amazes us. In fact, the last 2 nights she went 5 hours between feedings. We actually had to go into her room and feed her before she cried. She was fast asleep. We are glad she is sleeping so well, but we do not feel comfortable with her going more than 5 hours between feedings at this point. So, we wake her up. She eats and we are all happy.

Pookie

He seems to have accepted the Baby and acts like she has always been with us. We have seen him gently poke her tummy or pet her hair, as if to see if she is a real baby. He likes her new stroller, which includes an attached boogie board for him or Geetle to ride on.

Geetle

Lets just say it. Her life now revolves around the baby. And she loves it. She wants to make sure she gets to see the baby before school. She asks all sorts of questions about the baby and her gear. She will run and fetch anything we ask her to get, as long as its baby-related. She thinks constantly about the baby. Today when I announced that we were going to the park, Geetle looked worried and said, with great alarm in her voice, “what about the baby?!”

BAGD

The man is a machine. He has been taking very good care of us this week. The baby thinks he is funny. She has made a few half smile at him already. He thinks the baby is amazing too.

BAGM

I really wish I had delivered vaginally. Really. This whole recovery thing is starting to make me mad. I have 4 different zones of pain…my swollen feet, my abdomen/incision, my boobs and my shoulders/neck. I won’t write any more about it, because it frustrates me. I just am not used to being inconvenienced by pain. I have alot of things I need and want to do and it makes me mad to be unable to do them.

So, all in all, we are doing great.

1. Chuck Norris Facts. Did you know that Chuck Norris once roundhouse-kicked a ten dollar bill into 200 nickels and that when Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor? Never slap Chuck Norris.
2. I Can Haz Cheezburger. HA!

I wanted to list a few more, but this really all I got. All the other things in the world fall into 3 categories:

1. Funny things that you would agree are funny, such as the movie “The Princess Bride,” Dwight Shrute on “The Office”, and The Evolution of Dance.
2. Things that are not funny, such as the Red Bull commercial in which the man drinks Red Bull so that he can get wiings and fly above the bird that just pooped on him, making it possible for him to poop on the bird. Or when BAGD pulls his PJ pants way up above his belly button, dividing himself in half. Making it necessary for him to “pick a side” if you know what I mean.
3. Things that are funny, but you have never heard of or seen, such as when Pookie sings “Hello My Name is Joe and I work at a fartin’ factory,” when Geetle does her pirate dance, or when BAGD asks me things like “so, you know how November is NaNoWriMo?” (why would I know that? Has he not been paying attention the last 10 years?).

We have several kinds of preschool workbooks. All are similar, dealing with the alphabet, colors, shapes, etc. After trying several, our favorite one for Pookie is the Kumon series. The Kumon workbook series for kids 2-8, is especially great for a child with autism. Each book deals with one skill, cutting, gluing, mazes, lower case letters, etc at a time. The pages are bright and colorful. Most importantly, there is just one task per page. Pookie, like many children with autism, gets overwhelmed when presented with multiple tasks at once. He also does much better when the task is well-defined and there is a chance to practice many times.

We like doing these workbooks at home because we are never quite sure how much work Pookie does independently at school. His school uses the HOH (Hand Over Hand) method, in which they literally help a student perform a task, when needed. Sometimes, for example, he brings home artwork from school and the level of cutting is impressive for a 4 year old. But because we work on this skill at home, we can tell that he most likely had help at school. As the parents of a special needs child, we want badly for Pookie to have cut the papers all by himself. We want that great cutting to be all Pookie. But we know he had help; by practicing this skill at home, we know exactly what his skill level is. And I must say, while it is not *impressive* for a 4 year old…it is 100% typical for a 4 year old, and we are working on making it even better.

I highly recommend the Kumon books. Pookie will do an entire book (25-40 exercises) in 2-3 nights. He likes repetition. Geetle, on the other hand, gets bored after a few exercises and spreads her work out over weeks, months. But she also, as a typically developing child, enjoys these workbooks and has learned alot.

While I think they are great for any child, I think they are especially helpful for any person with a developmental delay. They offer the chance to practice a skill multiple times, with each exercise getting just a bit harder. They are focused on one skill at a time and are easy to focus on.

This is not a paid review, just one Mom’s opinion….after spending an afternoon doing My Book of Coloring with her kids

We came home today.  We are settling in.  The baby is eating and sleeping well.  Will write more later.

It has been 4 days since the birth. I have the belly. You know the one. The “hey, the baby came out, so why is this thing still floppy and huge” belly. I am OK with it, it serves one very important purpose. It keeps me from seeing my C-section scar. The scar is so low that I really cannot see it under there at all.

I remember the belly after the twins were born too. I delivered vaginally then and my stomach was an impressively deflated balloon. When they sent me home, they told me to soak the tub once a day, for the benefit of my episiotomy scar. I did, and discovered that the skin on my stomach floated. I yelled for BAGD to come in the bathroom quickly! I guess he thought I fell or something, I just wanted him to see how cool it is to see your stomach bobbing by on the bathtub current, seemingly not connected to the rest of you. He thought it was interesting, but not the kind of thing you yell from the tub for.

So, of course, that belly went away and things returned to normal. Normal for me is average American woman normal. Size 10-14 depending on the clothing item. Able to do 25 or so crunches on the machine at the gym. Unable to rest a piece of pie on my stomach while I watch TV at night. Feeling good. That is my goal for this time around, but I am not stressed about it. I am, however, excited that if things do not go well, I can offer a medical reason for it.

Ready? According to my OB…..I have a big uterus.

My big uterus, created by Pookie and Geetle, is what led to my emergency C-section this time. Apparently with so much room to swim in there, once my water broke, the baby and her cord raced for the opening and the cord came out first. Prolapsed cord= emergency C-section.

So, my uterus is big and will always be big. Next time I can’t find a pair of jeans that fit, I will remember that. I am not fat, I am big-uterused.

I slept 7 hours last night! I took 2 pain pills before I went to bed and then none during the night. Today, I think I am alternating Ibuprophen and Norco (pain pill). So, I am in a good pattern for when I go home. I took a shower yesterday too. I walked alot again, but at the end of the day my feet got very swollen and I had to spend some time in bed. I did get to eat real food yesterday. I never “passed” the C-section real food test, but the doctor said it was OK. But then by the end of the day, after having eaten lunch, and still not having “passed” the test….I was pretty uncomfortable. With a little medical intervention, I had a break thru. (oh my, when did this become a blog about gas and suppositories? Where did I go wrong?)

To quote BAGD, the baby was very “boring” yesterday. We had a lot of visitors, Pookie, Geetle, Mamaw, Papaw, Grandma, Papa, Aunt Shel, and My Mark. She slept thru every single visit…except for making a few googly eyes at Mark. Yesterday’s patterns were pretty good. She slept 3-4 hours between feedings and then ate a 2 oz bottle. We missed out on some of our alert time yesterday. She just went right back to sleep. But I suppose it was a stressful day for her, she got a shot and had a hearing test. We are hoping for some staring contests today.

Its 6am right now. At 4 am she had a blood draw to see about her level of jaundice. She has some jaundice, but it looks like it will be minor. We will know more after the Pediatrician comes this morning and reviews the blood test.

Pookie and Geetle will not come over today. Its Saturday, but we thought it was important to give them some home time. For the past 2 days they have spent the morning at the hospital, ran home for a quick lunch and then got right on the bus for school. Pookie, especially, needs a good block of free time at home to just play. I think I have mentioned before how much he hates it when we pluck him off the school bus and throw him in the car for a trip to the grocery store. He truly enjoys his playtime at home and wants a good block of it every day. So, today they will stay home and BAGD will come to see them. there is a Hawkeyes football game on, that the 3 of them will pretend to watch together. (BAGD watches, Geetle eats the chips and either yells when BAGD does or makes observations like “Hey! there’s the band”and “Why are their pants so small?”, Pookie brings a pile of toys into the room and sits next to BAGD’s chair….its their thing.)

Aunt Kel is coming to visit today. Other than that, it will just be me and the baby until BAGD comes back.

I believe they call today P.O. Day 2, post operative day 2. Either way, today is Friday and we delivered Wednesday afternoon. I am waiting for BAGD to wake up so we can go get the baby. She slept in the nursery last night and I took a sleeping pill, trying to get more than the 3 hours of sleep I got the first night. I slept for 6 and only woke up once for a pain pill, so that’s pretty good. I could have the nurse bring the baby back in, but I want to let BAGD sleep too. He actually took a nap yesterday afternoon (the 4th one since I met him 10 years ago). So I think he is worn out.

Our girl still eats very well. She is taking 2 oz every 3-4 hours. We have learned a few thing about her already:

1. She likes to burp half way thru and at the end, like most babies. But then 10-15 minutes after finishing, she needs another burp.
2. She eats so fast that she likes a little pacifier after each meal. Babies need to suck and I think with her eating so fast, she was not getting enough of that. We gave her a pacifier for the first time last night. She latched right on and would not let go.
3. She is practicing for the Baby Stare-Off World Cup. She will look and look at us. Staring for minutes on end.
4. Right now, she is a good sleeper. We hope that lasts. She slept for almost 5 hours between her noonish and 5pm feeding yesterday.
5. When she is starting to get sleepy, she will stare with one eye open just a slit and the other fully closed.

Pookie and Geetle will come to visit again today. I am excited. I miss them too. Today I will make sure I am sitting in the chair and that they see me walk a bit. I really don’t like laying in the bed anyway. I walked alot yesterday and when we were in the room, I sat in the chair. My incision is doing OK. I am taking pain pills and wearing a binder. That seems to be enough to make it comfortable.

No real food yesterday. I am trying but I can’t seem to “pass” (haha - pun intended…those who have had C-sections will know what I mean) the test. But once I do, I am eating something good. I have had enough popsicles and apple juice.

One thing I learned as a parent is to never say never. But this is one I feel comfortable saying.

My kids will NEVER wear wheelie shoes.

I hate them. Why?

1. They turn otherwise well-behaved kids into run-away freight trains careening out of control down the aisles in Walmart. Rude and inconsiderate.
2. When the kids are not wheeling, they walk on their tip toes with no bend in the arch. Bad for their feet.
3. Any parent who lets their kid roll thru the aisles of public stores and sidewalks on these shoes, darting between normal pedestrians, is not the kind of parent I intend to be.
4. They are not shoes. They are toys.

These shoes are banned at Pookie’s school (pre-K thru 6th grade), during school, after school, walking to school, etc…all the time. Geetle’s preschool (2-5 year olds) does not have such a policy, probably because they assume no parent of a 2-5 year old would send their child to school in them. Turns out they are wrong, Geetle knows exactly what these shoes are because “Eric” has a pair and wears them to school. But its OK, she tells me, because Ms Sofia just tells him to “turn off the wheels.”

BAGD and I went to the mall the other day. We were browsing at Steve and Barry’s University Sportswear when we were overtaken by a mop headed boy on wheelie shoes, darting in and out of the racks. His mother was trailing behind him. She passed me just as I said how much I hated those shoes and that the boy was rude. She gave me a look. I gave it back. I assume she saw my pregnant belly and that I had no kids in tow and assumed I was a first time parent. She probably thought, “Oh, just wait. You don’t understand at all.” Well, I do understand, whether I have kids or not. Those shoes are dangerous to me, as the person your kid races past and scoots around. Would you let your kid ride his bike thru Steve and Barry’s? Would you let him squirt me with his new water pistol? No? Well then, tell him to walk like a normal boy and save the recreation equipment for the playground.

Hello, I had a baby yesterday! I future-posted a bunch of stuff to fill in the gaps while I was out of commission, but this is a real one. Typed live from the hospital. The other things you will see over the next few days were typed weeks ago and are really not indicative of what is on my mind this week!

Now, on to the good stuff: The baby is almost 24 hours old. She seems to be enjoying life so far. She is pretty quiet and eats very well. She has a tiny little mouth and round face, just like Geetle. Her hair is brownish, like our big kids, but seems to have a touch of red in it. Her wrinkly feet have very long toes.

Mamaw and Papaw brought Geetle and Pookie over today. Geetle was very into the whole experience. She held the baby’s hand and petted her beanie hat. She asked several times “how is the baby doing?” She made me a picture to hang on the wall and brought the baby a stuffed bear they had made at a Build -a-Bear workshop yesterday.

Pookie was a bit cautious about the hospital. He looked at the baby and said Hello. Then he preferred to sit in the corner of the couch, holding on to BAGD’s arm. At one point, he seemed to get a little overwhelmed and whimpered a bit. I suppose its a stressful environment for him. And he could not come sit with me, due to my C-section incision. But he did very well, considering that he has never visited anyone in the hospital before.

The baby slept right thru their visit.

I have already been up and down off the bed several times. I have free reign within my room and have done 2 laps around the Mother Baby floor. I have also graduated to solo (no nurses) trips to the bathroom. No real food yet, but maybe tonight. Looks like we will come home either Saturday or Sunday.

BAGD posted some pictures on his blog.