Be A Good Mom

Since we can no longer tape a reminder sign to the bus seat, I have figured out a way to outsmart the bus department.  I shrunk the sign down to 5×7 and laminated it.  Then I ran a velcro square on the back of Pookie’s backpack, the part that sits against the back when worn.  I stuck the sign to the backpack.  So, now he can hold his backpack on his lap and see the sign.

Ha!

Bus superintendent called me today.

They are unable to use the seatbelt locks we bought, because they are not DOT approved.

We are unable to continue taping reminder signs to the bus seat, because there are rules against it.

Well, I have rules against harnesses.

They can either keep providing him a bus aide (who, by the way, has done NOTHING the past 4 days they have ridden with him, because the reminder signs have kept him in his seat), or they can let him use his reminder signs.  Or, they can draw the line in the sand.  I signed the harness form that first day, when they caught me off guard, but I will not allow him to use it again.  He does not need it.  He does not need to be bolted to the bus seat at each shoulder and each hip.

If they kick him off the bus, so be it.  I will find a way to drive him to school, even though it is really not a feasible option for us.   I am not making him wear the harness when all he needs it to be taught how to sit.  He is capable of learning it.  He has learned everything else we threw at him.   BAGD and I have always known that we needed to be his best teachers, but lately it has become apparent that we have to devote double or triple the time to it.  That’s quite an increase, since I already feel like I am doing it every minute.

I’m also going to protest the rule that says no signs on the bus.  Not only do I want to see that one in writing, I want an explanation of why its necessary and why an exception cannot be made for a special needs child.    I understand that we have no way of knowing that the reminder signs have stopped the problem and that he will never get out of his seat again.  But, its working now, so lets just have some faith in the kid.

School started at 1:00.

Today was Pookie’s first day without a bus aide.  His big chance to prove he can do it alone.

I taped his “Standing on the bus is naughty, sitting on the bus is good” sign to the seat in front of him.  Reminded him what it said and off they went at 12:35.

The bus probably got to school at 12:50.  Maybe a bit later if the bus driver had to pull over and reel a floundering Pookie back in the emergency door as the unmanned bus sped down the highway (a la “Speed”).  They got into the building at 12:55.  The teacher would have got everyone set up in the classroom, probably staying thru Circle Time, then said to the aide “Excuse me for a minute while I go call Mrs Beagoodmom and tell her Pookie tried to jump out at the light by Taco Bell and needs to be strapped down on the bus.”  She would have walked to the office to call me…probably at 1:20 or so.

tick tock tick tock

no call.

So, that means he behaved himself on the bus today….right?

This is why I love Robeez:

Baby socks do not stay on. I am not sure its because the socks are not foot-shaped or because the foot is not sock-shaped. But either way, they don’t stay on. I hate that. We all hate that. There is only one way to keep a baby’s socks on. Put Robeez over the top. When a baby learns to walk, they are great for traction and ease of movement, sure. But they also keep socks on. They are cute. Sure, but they also keep the socks on.

Giggles has a giraffe pair that she is just about to outgrow, which is exciting, because I can pick out a new pair! I forgot to put them on her today and it was driving me crazy! But, it seemed to take half a day before I had the time and geographic placement to be near the shoes at the exact moment I was cursing the socks. Now that she has them on, I am happy. And her right foot is much warmer.

Pookie had trouble on the bus again last week.  On Day 2 of using his homemade seat belt cover, he thwarted it.  He stood up, moved around the bus and eventually made his way to the emergency door where he tried to do the bus driver a favor and “lock” what appeared to be an “unlocked” slidebolt.  Problem is, that slidebolt lock is something they do at night for lockdown of the bus.  If you “lock” it while the bus is “on” the alarms go off.  So…that is what happened.

This was Friday onthe way to school.  They let him come home on the bus and he behaved himself perfectly.  But they said the harness was coming out on Monday.  I called and pled our case again.  He needs to be taught how to behave on the bus.  Let me teach him.  They said they would work with us. 

I asked to ride on the bus for a week.  They said no.

I asked for a bus aide.  They said no.

I asked for him to be switched to another bus where some other kid already has a bus aide.  They said no.

They did agree to give him a bus aide for 2 days, let me tape signs to his seat reminding him to sit, and tape a “STOP” sign on the emergency door to remind him not to touch it.

BAGD and I also did more research on a seat belt cover.  The technology exists.  You can easily buy one for your car at Amazon.  The problem is that the bus seat belts are the old fashioned kind, with the button in the center of the buckle, not on the side.  Think 1980’s Chevy Truck. 

We finally found one at Perfectly Safe.com  that will fit the old fashioned seat belts, namely bus seats.  It was cheap, $5.95, but to overnight two of them here put the bill at $57.  If Pookie ever wins a coloring contest at the mall and the prize is $10…its mine.  I also intend to make him share the Culver’s Gift Cards that Great Grandpa gives him every year with me until his debt is paid. 

He rode the bus Monday and Tuesday this week so far, and it has been fine.  I think that the reminder signs taped to the seat will be the best solution.  He knows how to behave, he does.  He just needs reminders and an understanding of why and what the consequences are. 

Now, everyday we talk about the bus rules before he gets on the bus.  I tape the sign to the seat and we ask him about it every day when he gets home.  We hope it continues to work.  We are not sure if the Transportation department will let us use the new $56 seat belt buckle covers.  Even if they do, he can loosen the slack on the belt and still wiggle out.  We are putting more faith in the reminder signs, but the bus people want some sort of restraint, so we are working with them on that, to make sure its a restraint (buckel cover) that we can agree to.  If not…I will be driving him to school every day.  We do not want him in that harness. 

***********************

because it took me and BAGD soooooooo long to find a seat belt buckle cover for Pookie’s bus seat, and others parents might have the same problem, pardon me while I try to save their sanity and time by directing a little bit of search traffic here.  Trust me, there is very little chance they will find the product any other way.  Perfectly Safe is a good website, but they did not come up on the first gazillion searches I did.

seatbelt buckle cover bus seat belt lap belt autism safety on the bus stay in your seatbelt seat belt safety cover buckle lock keep child in seat on the bus

I asked Grandma, a former first grade teacher, if she thought Pookie could read, or if he was just fooling us with memorized things.  Grandma gave me a textbook called “Teaching Language Arts” by Carole Cox.  Alot of it was over my head, but I did get a few things.  One thing that I liked was called the “Camel Test” which measures how well a child uses invented spelling and understands phonics.  The test :

1.  Ask the child to spell CAMEL- a word he or she has heard but probably not seen in print.  If the child writes C-A-M-L it demonstrates awareness of the four phonemes and the ability to match the letters to phonemes in the word.

2.  If the child spells CAMEL correctly, substitute another word such as EAGLE (EGL), BACON (BAKN) or MAGIC (MAJEK)

I do not understand the full significance of this test, because I am not an educator.  But as a parent, I can tell you that I liked what I saw out of Pookie.  He listened to the words and then spelled them, the best he could.  His answers made sense and I KNOW they were not just memorized.  One way I know is that when he memorizes things…he memorizes them CORRECTLY.  He spelled every one of the words wrong, but close enough to prove that he was sounding them out in his head and he understands what sounds each letter makes.  Very impressive for a boy that has NEVER been taught phonics in school; there is just no time for it at his preschool.  Geetle, on the other hand, does study phonics at her preschool.  She also took the test.  Their answers are below.

Word                      Pookie’s Answer               Geetle’s Answer

Bacon                        Baekn                                    Biy

Magic                        Migek                                    Miagh

Eagle                        Eggol                                       Eihl

Swing                       Swaewng                               Sopoa

Ladder                    Leadd**                                 Lriner

King                         Kin                                        Cqrs

*I did not do “camel” because that is a word I know he has seen in print repeatedly.  He has a book with a story about a camel.

**I was surprised that he put 2 “d”s in Ladder.   He spelled the word “lead”, paused for a few seconds and then added another “d”.  I think he remembered seeing that word in print and was trying to spell it correctly by considering how it sounded and what he remembered from seeing it in print.

I was pleased with how they both did.  I think Geetle could have done better if she had not thought it was a competition.  She gets a bit overzealous with competitions.  She was trying to spell them fast, in case speed counted.   I plan on showing this to Pookie’s teacher at our meeting next week.  We are constantly reminding everyone (the school, society, ourselves and even Pookie himself) that he is capable than more than you might think.  He is barely 5 years old.  He has autism.  He has taught himself how to read.

I am not afraid to admit it.

I am not afraid to proclaim it!

I am in charge around here.  How do I know?  I made up this simple test and it proves I am the lynch pin that holds this whole enterprise together.  And, therefore, since I have that bargaining chip, I am in charge.

The test:

1.  Who cuts the kids fingernails and toenails?

2.  Who actually returns the library books that everyone thinks are such fun to check out, misplace and forget about?

3.  Who knows what DTaP stands for?

4.  Who sends out the birthday party invites?

5.  Who tapes together the busted and stepped on puzzle boxes?

6.  Who sweeps under the couch?

7.  Who does routine washings of the changing pad cover, even if there is no visible poopie showing?

8.  Who cleans the kids ears?

9.  Who eventually throws out the leftovers?

10.  Who checks the registered sex offenders website to make sure the neighborhood is still clear?

11.  Who knows the name of the speech therapist (or gym teacher, or bus driver, etc) at school?

12.  Who knows what time the pediatricians office opens and closes?

13.  Who knows where the certified copies of the kids’ birth certificates are?

14.  Who buys the school supplies?

15.   Who puts the snowpants out in December and the flip flops out in May?

What’s your score?  I scored a 15 out of 15.

There’s your proof.

Told you I could make a real bear.

He’s made out of part of 4 different coordinated Fat Quarters.  So, each 1/4 of his body is different.  Not “different” like BaBa…but you know what I mean.

I am very excited!

Bold Spirit by Linda Lawrence Hunt- the true story of a woman who, in 1896, walked from Washington to New York in pursuit of a $10,000 prize.  Sort of sketchy, since there are alot of gaps in her story, partly because her family was ashamed of what she did and destroyed alot of her memorbilia and notes.   But the author does a good job of looping this lack of information back into the story.

Jeans by James Sullivan- a history of denim and how it became a cultural icon.

Starvation Heights by Gregg Olsen- the true story of a woman who ran a “sanitorium” near Puget Sound in the early 20th century, but actually used it to defraud her vistors…taking their money and often their lives.

The Spirit Catches You and  You Fall Down by Anne Fadiman- the story of a young Humong girl and the culture clash between her family and the US doctors that tried to treat her illnesses.

Angels of Death by William Marsden- history of biker gangs and their crime syndicates.  I wanted this book because I saw an interesting TV show on the topic recently.   Hells Angels, The Outlaws, 1 percenters and all that.

I did not forget it was your birthday!   Its just that every time I thought to call you today, I had either a kid, a paint-roller or steering wheel in my hand.    Poor excuse, I know.

I will talk to you very soon.  I hope you had a nice birthday today.