WOW. I do not even know what to say. Wait, yes I do.

by beagoodmom on June 27, 2008

I just spent way too long on StumbleUpon and was trying to pull myself away to go to bed. Then I read this, and now I can pull myself away from Stumbling because I need to respond to this prissy idiot.

That’s right. I called her a name. Something I never do. I never invite internet wars. I never provoke anyone. But its way past my bedtime and I am riled up.

This person is responding to the recent news article involving a young autistic boy who was removed from an airplane when he became unruly. Prissy’s opinion is that special needs kids demand too much special accomodations and its is downright inconvenient for the rest of us. She says that the child’s mother would probably not give a stranger with a medical issue the same consideration that she is demanding for her child. She says some “special needs” children are probably just misdiagnosed brats with regular behavior problems. Later, she promises to tell us more about how the special needs label is overused and makes life annoying for normal people.

Prissy’s comments are way out of line. She says that her kids, who have asthma, don’t ask for or get special treatment. Bully for them. You must be so proud. What a horrible thing they have overcome. I must remember to donate $5 to the save the asthmatics fund in their name. Don’t tell me that your asthma is as big a deal as Pookie’s autism. Don’t even dare. Its a medical condition, you can die from it, it hinders your ability to exert yourself. I get it. But its not autism. I would take a lifetime of asthma to spare Pookie one day of autism.

I am sorry that your life-in-the-bubble is so perfect that you would be inconvenienced by having to watch an autistic child struggle through a scary situation. I am sorry it would make you uncomfortable. Would you also be uncomfortable if you saw me pick my underwear out of my butt? Does my awesome rack make you uncomfortable? Sometimes I have really crusty heels…is that uncomfortable for you? What a pretty pink unicorn world you must live in. Cotton candy clouds and rainbows. Fuzzy gray kittens and homemade apple pies. Ahhhh. That is what is is for the “normal” people right? the ones you mention in your post?

Grow up. Accept the fact that no one’s life is perfect. Have some compassion for those who are struggling. Offer your help, or at least your support. Teach your children to do the same. Your ignorance really shows in that post.

Finally, the internet is not the anonymous world you might think it is. Its much smaller than you realize. You know my husband Mike. He also used to write for b5 Media; that was a working parent blog, so maybe you did not notice that he and I also blog about life with our autistic son. You had trouble with your blog code a while back and he fixed it for you. Remember that? I showed him your post tonite and he left you a comment. I think you will need to find someone else to help you with any future code problems. Good bye Gayla. I hope your children have a strong, positive role model who shows them how to be compassionate and understanding of others. They are welcome to read my blog, if they would like to learn more about a child’s struggles with autism and how hard he works to reach his goals.

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.

{ 1 trackback }

» What�s normal? The socially acceptable prejudice against autistic people today: July 24, 2008 at 5:49 pm

{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }

Carry-On Baggage June 28, 2008 at 3:14 am: I wonder how much of it is American Airlines in particular, though. I made the mistake of flying them in February and their staff seemed pretty stressed out and only partly in control of their collective destiny and that made for a miserable flight. It all started when American had the plane I was supposed to fly out on put on “unscheduled maintenance” because a part had failed in mid-air on the flight in and they had to fly the part in from Northern California because they didn’t have a spare in the southern part of the state. I can’t remember the part, but it sounded like something you’d want to check regularly.

The flight reached its low point when they announced gates for connecting flights as we descended into O’Hare a half an hour late (which I guess wasn’t bad for a two-hour-plus delay). You would not believe the whining and backbiting from fully-grown adults.

It seemed like symptoms of a larger problem (namely that it’s very difficult for them to compete against the low-cost carriers).
Rachel June 28, 2008 at 4:24 am: Ugh. That disgusts me. I wouldn’t have thought that there was so much discrimination in this day and age, but hey, I guess I was wrong. She thinks that that mama should have gone to a doctor and asked for sedatives for her child? So it is ok to push drugs on a healthy child, all for the sake of not inconveniencing anyone else? And if the other passengers paid $400 for their tickets, what does she think that woman and her child paid for their tickets? They have just as much right to be on that plane as anyone else, they weren’t getting a free ride from the autism fairy. Typically developing kids cry and get upset. Kids with autism cry and get upset. I don’t see the difference. I think it’s pathetic that people can’t have compassion for a scared child.
Gayla McCord June 28, 2008 at 9:22 am: BAGM – I received the comment from BAGD and read your post. I have posted a public apology and a sincere effort to explain my position. It’s not that I don’t feel compassion – it’s not that I think my kids asthma is comparable, but it’s the only life altering ailment my kids have that I could relate to.

I admit ignorance, but I also admit that I am a member of a society that sees situations like this particular case – and get angry.

Reports are that by the time the flight was on the runway – the kid was on the floor – rolling in tantrum. Why should that be overlooked? That tells me that this particular parent did little if anything to prepare a child for flight. From my perspective, she obviously didn’t know the limitations of her child on what he could or could not deal with. And now she’s screaming discrimination? That is difficult for me to swallow.

I think it’s cases like this where it seems the mom is showboating over her son’s condition that it takes away from the real issue at hand.

This particular case is NOT about compassion for a child, it’s about a mother expecting an entire airline to bend the rules and risk the livelihood of flight attendants who are not in compliance. How is that right?

I know, truly I do, that there are real cases, sincere caring parents who are looking to educate and reform public acceptance – but cases like this are making it difficult for those who are ignorant, like myself, to see beyond the drama and recognize the cause.

I was very stupid in my choice of title and like you, I tend to type when I’m tired or sometimes when I’m overly fired up about something that’s got my emotions pinging from the walls – I guess it’s similar to blogging drunk in many ways. I need to learn how to save to draft and come back to it later – lesson learned.

I do hope you accept my apology – I do feel just terrible.
Elaine June 28, 2008 at 10:43 am: She admitted she wrote the article strickly to get page views and hit to her blog because her page views were down.

I find it horribly sad that one would stoop to trashing special needs kids and their parents just to make a buck.

Here’s the kicker… the article Gayle wrote on her blog isn’t just about the child and mom in the plane that got kicked off. She went way past that with this comment: “Now I’m not saying this particular kid wasn’t truly autistic, but I do believe there are many kids who are being diagnosed as autistic who are genuinely nothing more then flaming brats and because these kids are brats, the worlds is supposed to do everything to make them more comfortable?”

Gayle, you seriously need to get educated about special needs kids and autism! You think a child with autism is a just flaming brat that isn’t really autistic?

I have a son who has autism, now grown. How dare you tell me he was and is nothing but a flaming brat who is misdiagnosed!! How dare you tell the parents of special needs kids that their kids are nothing more than flaming brats who don’t really have autism!!

It’s more than obvious that you do not have special needs kids. With that thought in mind, please try and refrain from “writing” about things you know NOTHING of in the future.
beagoodmom June 28, 2008 at 10:56 am: Gayla, I acknowledge your apology, but I cannot accept it. This issue is too close to my heart. Let your actions be your apology. I know that on b5 you get paid by page impression. Repent by taking the income from that post and sending it somewhere it will matter. Your choice. Autism Speaks is a national charity. But personally, I think a bit more local would be better. Call your local school district. Ask them to speak to the special education department. Ask them what they need for their kindergarten classroom, the grade Pookie will be in this Fall. Then deliver it personally and spend the day with the class. Your eyes will be opened to these kids struggles and their heart, not to mention their determination. Repent.
Gayla McCord June 28, 2008 at 11:20 am: BAGM – While I do appreciate your acknowledging my apology – it does feel a lot like your response is an effort to force feed me compassion, which I truly don’t need and is honestly one of the contributing factors to much of society not wanting to be more understanding.

It’s not about MY not understanding and feeling for the situations – it’s about the damage that has been done to a society in the name of autism (in this particular case). I’m not sure how to word that so that more understandable – clearly when someone is emotionally charged over a certain topic, they can’t see beyond their emotion. When I was working so heavily in STD Patient Advocacy, I was very much the same way.

At this point, the best I can do is offer my sincere apology and whether you accept that or not, is entirely up to you.

To err is human and human I am.
Bonnie Sayers June 28, 2008 at 11:42 pm: NIce post. I have two kids on the spectrum, ages 12 and 13. I would not take my kids on a plane and we once did Amtrak for a vacation and it was planned and organized for weeks on end. This Mother just recently got the diagnosis and I can imagine is very overwhelmed.

She was on autism one this morning, but I am on CA time and did not get a chance to listen to her. I know that when the boy in Florida got booted out of his class that there was a card campaign to send him and Mom cards. I was hoping to get something like this started for this Mom but not sure where to go to start that.

I have the Moms email address is anyone wants it to send her an uplifting email.

mine is autismfamily dot com

Bonnie
Aunt Shel June 29, 2008 at 9:00 am: Gayla,
I was always taught that a true apology is not just words. It seems to me that you have learned very little from your “drunk blogging”. Your “sincere apology” is pretty insincere if you ask me! I hope that you will set a better example for your children in the future. Just because “to err is human” does not excuse your actions without true remorse and growth!
lmvogt June 29, 2008 at 10:05 am: Blessed Be The Peacemakers and that is what you really are BAGM. Love MOM
bebang June 29, 2008 at 7:15 pm: i agree with you. Gayla is an idiot. hypocrite idiot. i hope God will open her eyes and someday feel the hurt i feel reading her ignorant blog. i have my heart for the special kids and their moms… i am one.

BAGM, im one of your readers. you are cool. and your family is so cute
lonestar818 June 29, 2008 at 9:57 pm: Great post, just wanted to comment on the comment that the mother must not have known her child’s limitations or didn’t prepare him well enough. 1 – she had flown with him before without incident, so apparently flying *was* within the scope of what he could handle, and 2 – how does anyone “prepare” a 2-yr-old, whether they have autism or not, for an 11 hour delay??
Michelle McFarland-McDaniels July 15, 2008 at 1:22 am: I respect you tremendously for taking on the kinds of attitudes and statements that make raising children who have special needs more difficult than it should be.

WOW. I do not even know what to say. Wait, yes I do.

Recent Comments

Recent Posts

Archives

Categories